Category Archives: Collaborative Learning

A Natural Process to College

Posted on October 2, 2008 | 7 comments

My hubby and I decided to continue trusting our philosophy with the natural stages of learning as our children transition into adulthood.  As noted in an earlier post, it did require that we continue our deconditioning of our current society’s expected “shoulds” at this stage.  The biggest one, obviously, is the college path.  Initially, my oldest child, Eric (now 21), has resisted college because he isn’t sure he wants to play the game involved.  My second child, Abbey (now 19), also put college on a shelf as she chose to develop her writing skills independently and find out how far she could take it on her own.  My third child, Eli (now 17), has been my first child who has wanted to attend college right up front.  So far, my oldest three children continue to show how different the paths can be even in the same family.

I find Abbey’s path is the most interesting at this time because it seems to depict the natural process as I described it in it’s most “typical” form in my Collaborative Learning Process for the 17-19 year old range:

The Transitional Stage (Ages 17-19). This is the stage that the child moves from a home and dependency based lifestyle to a community and independent based lifestyle. Some will move seamlessly into this stage, while others will be hesitant, and yet others will be outright resistant. This stage can encompass such things as consistent work, volunteer opportunities, college preparatory pursuits, entrepreneurial steps, and/or travel options. It is time for a full adult schedule, whatever and wherever it ends up.

I spent a lot of time in this stage helping each child figure out how to enter an adult lifestyle of their choosing and embrace a full schedule by sharing experience and insights regarding any acquisition process and modeling a mindful lifestyle through peer collaboration.

The biggest transition that occurs during this timeframe is moving into a full adult schedule.  An opportunity arose where Abbey could work a full-time job through an agency servicing the Medicaid Waiver CAP program in our state for disabled children and adults.  Because of our move to a new county that operates on a special waiver (which means they can create their own rules regardless of the state’s rules), she was eligible to work for her own brothers in our home.  This was a HUGE God-send for me as she would be easily trained because of her self-initiated involvement in creating a relationship with her different brothers as well as her knowledge of the family dynamic.  On her end, she could make double the money as most beginning jobs and she would have the ability to have full-time status in a more demanding job, again, both of which are not always easy to find at her age of 18 at the time.  She wasn’t sure about moving to full-time work as she thought it might be too big of a jump for her from working 10 hours a week tutoring her younger brothers to 40 hours a week utilizing more advanced skills.  I assured her that if she felt it was too much after a month or so, she could always just do one of her brothers (she works with each of two brothers at 20 hours a week each).

It took her several weeks to a month to work out balancing a full time position with her continued desire to work on her novels as well as finding her place in contributing within the family.  She works from 9:30-1:30 with Alex and 2:00-6:00 p.m. with Adam every day and would put in 3-4 hours each night on her novels.  One of the things that naturally occurred within our family is that at around 18 and/or as each of these young people were committing to more activities outside of family living, I would disengage my need to use them in fulfilling family responsibilities such as babysitting or any daily chores.  This would simply convert down to the next children as they were each developing their particular attributes for the stage they were in.  It’s not that the young people don’t contribute, it’s just in a different way.  It was like an instinctive thing for me to shift my views and interactions with them during this stage from dependent child to independent young person in order to give them the space and release of dependence to act in the way that is best for their growth extending outside of the home.

So, Abbey started full-time employment in the home at 18.5 years old and has been going strong for nine months now and saving her money.  About two months ago, a sudden shift occurred within Abbey.  In mid-July, she unexpectedly declared that she wanted to attend college . . . in January if she could pull it off.  Though she had been satisfied up until now about what she was concentrating her efforts on, and where, she had reached a natural state where she wanted to leave the home and seek adventure in a way that would allow a different kind of growth, both from her home lifestyle as well as from her own independent studies.  College became the clear answer in her mind.Incapability is the condition where an individual do not possess the sex buy viagra online seanamic.com desire.

Because Abbey had not desired college before now, she also had no inspiration to study for and take the ACT or SAT exams before now.  So, the first thing she did was sign up to take the first available ACT test.  She was fortunate that there was one in early September as she discovered the admission’s deadline for the school of her choice was October 1.  It would be pushing it!  Abbey set to a study plan to learn all that she needed to know in 1.5 months.  She knew English and Reading were her strengths, but math and science were never at the top of her list of interests as she unschooled through high school.  It didn’t take long that it wasn’t just about learning the subjects, but was equally about knowing how to take a timed test, both the timing part and the testing part.  Interestingly, she found she didn’t have to actually KNOW everything.  Abbey was able to accomplish all the studying needed to do the best she was capable of.  That last week before the test, she felt she had done all she could do to prepare.

So, here we are, at October 2.  She had accomplished all the requirements of admissions by the deadline and had simply to wait to see if the ACT scores would post quickly and be sent on time.  Last Friday, her ACT scores posted on line.  My hubby called to see if Abbey was available from work to look since  he saw that they were available.  She was currently gone on a community trip and wouldn’t be back for about a half hour.  I told him he should wait and let her look first.  He agreed, but then called back within 5 minutes and said he couldn’t wait and looked.  Naughty dad!  LOL!  Abbey has always been a good sport about this type of thing and he knew it.  Of course, I had to have him tell me . . . LOL!  Abbey laughed when she got home, but then asked how she did 🙂  She scored a 27!  Woohoo.  This was the number she needed in order to not be required to jump through additional hoops from the college of her choice because she was a homeschooler.  I’ll admit, I had been annoyed by this extra hoop jumping required.  If she had not scored at least a 27, she was being asked to take the GED, which we were going to refuse.  We’re just glad we didn’t have to cross that bridge.  Plus, the best she had ever done in her practice exams was 26, so she had passed herself in the actual test.  It ended up being science that pulled her up!  She was sure surprised by that, but pleasantly so as she had worked hard.  Her high score was naturally English at 34 (getting a perfect score with usage/mechanics).

So, that hoop is jumped, but we had to wait to see if the sent ACT score would reach her preferred college on time.  Yesterday came and went and it did not post as received.  Bummer.  But, we got her copy today in the mail.  So, we’re still confident that it was received by the school and just not posted yet.  Plus, they said that missing the deadline didn’t necessarily keep them out of consideration for the semester she applied for.  So, time will tell.

Well, this is getting long, so I’ll post tomorrow about my “transcripts” and how I did that and what it looked like.  But, the point I was trying to make with this post was that Abbey discovered in her own time and in her own way when or if college was a right choice for her.  And once that happened, everything falls into place as it should and it no longer is a chore or a fear or a should, but an exciting opportunity that she embraces.

7 Comments

Posted in Adulthood, Beginnings, Collaborative Learning, Unschooling

Alex is on his way . . .

Posted on May 1, 2008 | 4 comments

Alex is 13 years old now and has been working through the Collaborative Learning Stage, as I describe the rhythm of our unschooling cycles, since around 11.5 years old. This is never an easy stage as the children transition from a more relaxed, interest-based environment (seeking their passion) to learning more about goal setting and self-discipline (purpose). With Alex living with autism, it made the transition just a bit bumpier.

I’m so excited to announce that . . . Alex has arrived! Woohoo! We started off like I always do with my children at this stage . . . one or two subjects and working side by side with them. Together, we find resources that work for him. Actually, Abbey was the person who first did this with Alex back when he was somewhere between 11 and 11.5, and they worked together like this for maybe 6 months.

I believe a break occurred, and then I started working with him one-on-one, shifting things around to encourage transitioning into independence. It was always hit and miss at doing the formality, so it was maybe done twice a week, and lasted an hour or two. At a certain point, I didn’t think my current thinking would transfer to independence, so I started looking.

I went to a GIFTS-NC conference last year and picked up what looked like a good idea, if I could modify it to what would work for us. It was what I would call a “better” TEACCH box system. I thought and thought how I could modify it and came up with a good plan. Alex tried it starting just before 13, but he felt it was too overwhelming for him. He started calling “homeschooling time” the “H” word . . . LOL!

So, we took another break and he shared with me what he needed. He said he still needed someone to be with him as he did things. At the same time, Abbey, Alex’s big sister, was able to begin formally working with him through procured state services one-on-one in our home for four hours a day. He was excited as we shared with him what he would be able to do: things like creating his own stories with support, learning computer skills to further his car and other interests, earning money through chores, expanding his understanding through readings and vocabulary work, etc. All of this would be done by creatively interweaving his interests as the process toward worthy products.

Well, about two months into that, I started adjusting the box system and having his older brother sit with him (who wanted to earn some money, too). It didn’t work, adjust, it didn’t work, adjust, it did work! There still seemed to be resistance, though. Then, one day, about three weeks ago, it all started to come together. All the social and emotional and behavioral conversations that were happening with his sister in their “therapy hours” was transferring over into his formal work.

Alex actually started to come and REQUEST his homeschooling. He collaborated with me about adjusting it once again to work exactly the way that is right for him, how often, and when, and the boy is doing it all independently (as he dropped wanting Eric to help him). He does four activities each day, he learned to keep focused (something he had a hard time with) through using a timer, but dropped that after only a week or two, and he learned that he didn’t have to panic if he didn’t understand something, nor did he need someone right next to him to avoid the panic, but all he needed to do is come ask for help. It takes him about an hour to complete.
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So, he’s approaching 13.5 years old and are right about on target for what I say typically happens in this timeframe. It just takes that long to transition, find what works for everyone, and then success. I am already anticipating the next stage of Gift Focus Stage as we are gearing up to match him with apprentices in mechanics. We’ve been trying to put it together and it has been slow going, but I see it happening by 14, so . . .

It’s always so exciting!

Here’s some pictures of Alex doing his homeschooling. He prefers the side porch, and you see his big brother still likes to come along and “spar” with him, literally and figuratively (they love to verbally spar good-humoredly with each other):

4 Comments

Posted in Autism, Collaborative Learning, Homeschooling

Helping vs. Changing

Posted on December 27, 2006 | 4 comments

In a comment on my blog, JoVE referenced this talk by Sir Ken Robinson that was recorded February, 2006. I would like to invite everyone to start by listening to his words with a point-of-reference geared toward the rant I shared here about giving value to our right-brained learners. Here is someone who fully “gets it”.

There were several poignant places in this speech, but one was after he described the process of how Gillian Lynne, the “Cats” choreographer, came to discover her talent. The public school she attended in the 1930s informed her mother that she was not fitting in well there, and maybe she has some problems that need to be checked out. Her mother took Gillian to a psychiatrist, and after a briefing, he asked the mother to leave with him out in the hallway while he left young Gillian in his office after he turned on the radio. They looked back into the room as they saw Gillian dancing around the office, and he looked at her mother and simply stated, “Your daughter is not sick, Mrs. Lynne; she’s a dancer. Put her in dance school.” The rest is history as she is reowned for her talent in dance and choreography.

Our right-brained learners are not sick; they are not broken; they are not a problem. Our right-brained learners are dancers; they are artists; they are musicians; they are actors; they are architects; they are video game programmers. This is who they are. To change that is at best to “squander away their talents”, to borrow the phrasing from Sir Robinson, and worse, to quote my oldest son upon hearing about my discussions here, would be to “psychologically destroy them”. I want neither for my amazing right-brainers!Does that mean they’re perfect the way they are? Of course not, as we all have our weak areas and difficulties. However, because of our conditioning in giving value to left-brained traits, we think the very traits that make them right-brained thinkers ARE the weak areas and difficulties. If we intervened in these areas for the sake that it goes against the grain of conditioned societal thinking, then we are changing who they are. So, how do we differentiate? For me, a loose definition would be that if something is impacting the quality of life for my child from his/her perspective or from my perspective filtered through my de-conditioning lens and based on wisdom or mother’s intuition, then I might seek to help my child develop skills and strategies that will benefit him/her.

From my experience, there is very little in the learning/education department that needed my help. Most of the help needed in this arena fell on my shoulders for myself. I needed to become educated about learning styles. (In my day, In Their Own Way, by Thomas Armstrong was my foundation. Nowadays, there are scads more!) I needed to question my conditioned reactions and responses to various methods and timeframes. (Again, in my day, Growing Without Schooling and the works of John Holt helped tremendously. Today, it’s called deschooling.) I found myself becoming intrigued and excited about what was unfolding before me through my children. (I call it becoming an anthropologist of sorts.) Some of the things I remember letting go of: Why not count on your fingers? Why do “show me work”? Why can’t learning happen orally? Why can’t the child have his core curriculum be dinosaurs? Why can’t he teach himself? Why does writing have to be from the top down?

However, there WERE some places that my children needed my un-conditioned wisdom and perspective. My oldest needed “gentle pushing” from time to time because he is prone to resisting new things . . . even things I was sure he would love. But, my criteria was that I truly felt that he would enjoy it, and I didn’t want him to miss a wonderful opportunity for his own growth and learning. Every time I pushed gently using this criteria, my oldest ended up loving the activity. He also learned to trust in my encouragement as well as learning to be open to new experiences and not reject outright simply because it was new.

This same child also needed my intuitive wisdom in his transition to reading . . . not because he was 8 years old and a non-reader, but because he was showing me that he was ready, but I could see that his perfectionistic need to be able to do it well right away was interfering with his acquisition process. His learning style had always been to observe first, then do, and it wasn’t working for him in the reading department, so he wasn’t going to do it at all . . . another common trait of a right-brained learner (I’ll do it well, or not at all!). I knew enough about how he learned, but I didn’t know what I was looking for, but felt I would know it when I saw it. I knew it wouldn’t have any bells and whistles . . . just get straight to the point, getting to the reading part quickly. Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons was what worked for him, without following the script and skipping at least half the “exercises”. (The manual says you MUST do everything exactly as stated, but I can attest it isn’t true!) We did lessons about three times a week over several months and it was enough to get him off the ground. By lesson 30, I knew he “got it”, so we stopped the formal lessons from the book, and about a year later, he took off in reading.

Another example is that at about 11 years old, I encourage more formal studies if a child hasn’t come to it him/herself. My wisdom intuited that my self-conscious right-brained learners would become hyper-critical of themselves in another few years (as puberty hits and one naturally turns outward) if they were unable to do certain skills that were not pursued of their own volition. So, we would begin with an area they were least interested in up until that point and build from there over the next few years. You can read about this philosophy here.

Here is a random list of things I did NOT help with, because it was only a matter of perspective: drawing was writing, reading “below one’s grade level”, printing from the bottom up, moving as they think, late reading, using expensive equipment like camcorders to share their ideas, sharing what they know orally, not showing their work, not learning cursive, reading comic books, lots of computer games, watching ants for science, building with Legos all day, playing video games all day, tracing, rereading books, drawing or coloring while they listened to me read aloud, invented spelling, etc.
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You notice so far how I am not changing who they are, how they learn, when they are ready to learn, or what should be important to them. I am recognizing when something isn’t working for them and helping them find a way to continue to develop their gifts and talents in a way that allows it to be nurtured and their love of learning to remain ignited. In other words, I was living the adage that Sir Ken Robinson mentioned early in his speech: “. . . creativity is as important in education as literacy, and we should treat it with the same status.” Talents that rest in creativity exhibit differently than the products valued in our public school system; our homeschools have to reflect that if our right-brained children are to flourish.

Now, the temperamental traits of a right-brained learner is the place where I feel I needed to help them the most. This is because these characteristics affect relationships and those are important to understand in order to function in our society. However, even in this arena, there is much work to do in ourselves in order to question our cultural social expectations. For instance, extraverts are more valued in our society than introverts. This does not mean that we should change our introvert right-brainers to an extravert right-brainer. It means we have to come to value what each temperament offers by showing respect for diverse perspectives.

For instance, some of the tough questions I had to ask myself were: Why do you have to bathe every day? Why do you have to like parties? Why can’t you wear soft sweatpants everyday? Why can’t I spend a lot of time alone? Why is competition a good thing? Why is crying for a boy a bad thing? Why can’t a child voice his/her opinion? Somehow, by sheer intuition and viewing each child as an individual of worth, I was able to differentiate between what was important and worth seeking skills and strategies with, and what was not. Now, there are a number of excellent resources that can assist a person, such as The Explosive Child, The Highly Sensitive Child, Raising Your Spirited Child, The Out-of-Sync Child, etc., that can help you understand the perspective of your high maintenance child.

A lot of the skill-building that was utilized in these areas of emotional, social and behavioral domains were about collaborating, compromising, and cooperating in order to achieve a harmonious relationship. So, in promoting unity, it cannot be about changing who the person is, but respecting each other’s differences through understanding each other’s needs and preferences while working out common solutions to live joyfully with one another.

An example would be that my oldest son went through several anger stages. First, one must learn to understand where that stems from and not see it as a “problem”, but as an “unmanaged trait”. Creative right-brained learners feel deeply. That means they feel anger deeply, happiness deeply, sadness deeply . . . this is how feelings emanate from their preferred creative outlet, such as moving dance, stirring music, etc. When an intense person is young, they are learning how to manage these strong feelings. We can help them develop strategies that work with these strong emotions. If we change who they are by medicating the feelings away or stamping out the feelings, we have also taken away an avenue for their best creativity. So, no you don’t get to destroy property, or fling nasty words, or get physical. But it is a process to self-control and I helped him discover the steps to attaining successful self-control.

Another example is my third child right-brainer son had a hard time making decisions for some years. Because of his extreme tender heart, he had a deep need to do the right thing. If there was a choice between a “should” and a “want”, he had a hard time making the choice and would end up in a pool of tears. He wanted the want, but felt a deep need within to do the right thing. I recognized the need to help him on several levels. One was the immediate torment it caused him on a consistent basis. I didn’t want him to become accustomed to anxiety due to the decision-making process. The second was the underlying notion surrounding the choice to either become a martyr (I’ll do it well) or become self-centered (or not at all) . . . see above about my oldest and reading . . . simply because he didn’t have the skills to know how to make an unemotional decision. So, I helped him learn the art of decision-making between a should and a want.

This is what my workshops about the right-brained learner are all about: my sharing with others who are raising right-brained learners the distinction between changing a person into someone he/she is not and helping our intense and creative children prosper in their gifts, talents, and unique perspectives. It is not about applying a person’s theory to our child to “improve them” such as help right-brainers get better by teaching them left-brain thinking. That is disguising changing them with the words helping them improve. It is about observing their lives, seeing the value in their perspective, and truly becoming advocates of their particular life journey and simply help them navigate their own personal and particular pitfalls. I believe our children show us what they need, and if we can screen our motives through our anti-conditioning lens and combine that with our wisdom and experience, I believe the collaborative process that can result will be hundreds and thousands of creative minds released to our world to improve IT!

4 Comments

Posted in Collaborative Learning, Homeschooling, Learning, My Opinions, Right-Brained/Visual-spatial Learners

Product and Process

Posted on December 2, 2006 | 2 comments

Usually when a title with product and process is involved, there is a “versus” in the middle. Product OR process is what the versus implies. I don’t think that’s how people work, and I know it’s not how I work. There is a product AND a process. There is always a product involved . . . it answers the WHY in what we are doing. Process answers the HOW.

People come to me for support, and inevitably, answers, on my Homeschooling Creatively list. I often steer them toward the process, but I feel that is shortsighted and incomplete on my part, and I want to give voice to my complete experience in order to better support others seeking the same.

I take you back to the beginning of my homeschooling journey. When people ask you why you started homeschooling, that why often answers your first “product” you were interested in pursuing on behalf of your children. I was no different. My oldest son loved to learn, and I wanted that love to continue throughout his learning journey. Fast on the heels of this proclamation came two more “products” I formulated based on my own experience and that of my hubby. Mine was that I wanted each of my children to enjoy reading. I wrote a blog post delineating this idea here. My hubby’s was that we wanted our children to be exactly who they are, supported to pursue anything they desired without society’s conditioned beliefs or expectations, whether emanating through us or society. These were some pretty hefty “products”!

Initially, these were weakly formulated subconscious ideas. Parenting my children before the age of 5 included incorporating a learning environment that was geared toward meeting these criteria. Although poor college students, our home was rich in books. We had already instituted a non-gender-based learning environment in which we enjoyed playing basketball with him in the basement as much as dress up with Mommy’s shoes and hats.

When it came time to register Eric for kindergarten, going through the motions seemed to disconnect us with our goals for our children. It felt robotic and impersonal. Suddenly, the experiences that Eric went through in his half year of preschool previous to registration crystalized. You can read the post I created about these lessons here.

I was at a defining moment in consciously recognizing the “products” I had in mind for my children’s learning lives. I knew public school would not support them. I had to find a resource that would help me consciously and mindfully embrace a lifestyle based on my desired products. I was looking for the process! This is what other parents are looking for from me when they seek out my right-brained learner group or my autism group. Although this next step of establishing the process was so crucial, in my opinion, at getting me where I am today, I cannot neglect to recognize the “products” as my catalyst and driving force.

Homeschooling popped into my head. Ah, this would provide the open forum in which to create the process in meeting our products. I found a woman in our church who was homeschooling and very warm and engaging about sharing her wisdom in helping me get started down the path of home education. In my opinion, she was the perfect mentor, and I didn’t even know it, although felt extremely validated in the moment. I always inwardly strive to meet the standard she created with my role as a mentor, but so often fall short because of my strong opinions 🙂

Anyway, she said I first had to figure out what my style would be. Huh? Styles? She offered a book that shared blurbs about the various methods used by others in the homeschooling circles. She felt confident that I would know the style for me when I saw it. Sure enough, it was the style called unschooling. It closely matched what we had created before age 5. Coincidentally, this mentor was an unschooler. Now, here comes the important element in creating my process that I try to emulate for others.
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Unschooling 15 years ago was rare. Certainly we did not have the ability to pool together because the Internet was non-existent at that time. Homeschoolers had to gather in real life. There were usually one or two unschoolers to be found, if they chose to reveal themselves. Growing Without School (GWS) and Home Education Magazine (HEM) were our support systems. The writings of John Holt were our inspiration. My mentor gave me scads of back issues to both as well as a pile of books on the subject matter. I particularly pored over the letters in GWS and read John Holt’s works as models in forming my own unschooling environment. In those days, there was no one telling us the “do’s and don’ts” of unschooling. I don’t think there was such a thing.

My mentor supported this premise. As I hesitantly got my feet wet, I was constantly calling her, sharing my worries and my concerns about messing up my child or doing things “wrong”. She would ask me to tell her what I was up to that day or week with my child. I would relay what we were doing and she would always say, “Wow, you are doing so great! Just keep going.” She was also there to talk about “going against the grain of society” in order to buoy me up in my new process of working toward achieving my products.

John Holt’s writings and observations gave me inspiration to conduct my own observations with my own children. His questioning society’s conditioned beliefs about learning gave me confidence to pursue my own questions about the process of learning. Because I lived the conditioned experience, as did my hubby in a different way, he and I would have many conversations dissecting what was really important and what was not in our own learning experiences. All of these opportunities for discovery and new ideas meshed beautifully with our original “products” or goals for our children of instilling a love for learning, being an individual valued for one’s own path, and coming to reading joyfully.

None of these resources that were available to me at the time “told me what to do”. Each gave me a foundation of beliefs. John Holt taught me about the power of observation and the courage to question society’s valued learning beliefs. GWS taught me that as parents applied these processes of becoming an observation detective and as we question any of our concerns or worries that stem from conditioned educational values, amazing and profound information through experiences emanate from each child’s own perspective and style. And my mentor taught me that I had the power within myself and through learning at the feet of each of my children to discover our own process.

I have found myself often deflecting parents who come to me asking if something is “right” or “does this fit”? It’s because the process is so unique to the individual and family involved. It’s because no two children are alike, even when they share the same learning style or difficulty. I try to share like those parents from GWS did with me . . . how my power of observation and resisting conditioned thinking revealed the amazing process of each child I am partnering with. I want to support the foundations to the process, and encourage parents as they discover their own place with their own child. I want to share my own observations and experiences as an example of what can be learned using these foundations. I want to give courage through these examples that it really works.

One thing I may change is to share that I have products that I was striving for, and the examples from our process is toward meeting that end. If a person has another product in mind, our process may not make sense. Also, I’m thankful I had the latitude in figuring out our own process. It’s not a checklist that can be checked off. It’s about trying something and realizing it’s not working out, and going back to why (the product) we’re doing what we’re doing, and readjusting ourselves back to the correct how (the process) to get us there. The pendulum will swing back and forth for a while, until we find the right place for us and our children. This is what my Collaborative Learning Process was trying to reveal: the foundational process that is helping us reach our goals for our children’s learning lives.

It’s much tougher to explain and talk about our process than it would be to simply give some formula for a product 🙂 As I mentioned in a previous post, I can share my foundation, but each person has to build upon it for their own child and family. But, I think the process is so important, even if it seems elusive sometimes to put to words. As an example, I will try to share our process for the goal of each child enjoying reading next . . .

2 Comments

Posted in Beginnings, Collaborative Learning, Homeschooling, Right-Brained/Visual-spatial Learners

Individualization and Collaborative Learning

Posted on November 28, 2006 | 3 comments

Willa, at Every Waking Hour, talked recently about my Collaborative Learning and Unschooling. She made some great points that I would like to expound on.

. . . perhaps the collaborative learning component has something to do with the visual-spatial RB learner’s needs. The reason I’m wondering is that both Cindy and Stephanie mention that a collaborative form of unschooling has been the best suited for their family and children. Stephanie’s description of how she gives the children some structured things to do, but they consent to it though they have not suggested it themselves, is a description of how things have gone best in our household too.

I don’t think the collaborative learning process is especially a right-brained rhythm. In fact, I feel it reflects human learning rhythms of childhood. Now, I will definitely credit my strong right-brained learning firstborn son for my ability to “discover” the process that unfolded from his learning journey because he is so set in how he learns that he would be heard or we would all suffer the consequences! Once he taught me that there is a process that can be trusted, it was easier for me to offer that to each of my subsequent children, no matter their learning style. What each child shared was how individual it would look as it built upon the foundation of the learning process.

I spent all last year pretty much radically unschooling. It was a leap of faith and trust for me, and it was difficult. It taught me a lot. When I write on this blog about math books and handwriting practice, and well, “assignments”, it makes me feel a bit uneasy, because it isn’t “pure” unschooling. But I am seeing that the kids respond to it. So I like that word “collaborative”. Other unschooling friends of mine have used metaphors like “dancing”. I think sometimes of how I used to bounce Aidan on the mini-trampoline. He had sensory integration dysfunction and the bouncing really changed his mood, sometimes; it helped him organize. He did not ask for the bouncing, because he could not talk or even gesture for what he wanted — part of the source of his frustration was that lack of communication ability! but he responded to it, and it helped him.

I actually wrote a long post about radical unschooling, and decided not to publish it. But, it helped me get some thoughts out. And you touched on it here. I wonder if it is human nature to become “extreme” in order to push past our present conditioned thinking into new ideas? In other words, the basis of radical unschooling is a good thing because it can be a catalyst to push us far enough out of our comfort zone to “wake us up” to new thinking and ideas. However, the extreme practice itself doesn’t necessarily follow reason, thus, eventually one modifies it to fit their real lives, or as one practices it fully, there is a “cultish” view on “pure living”.

That said, as I adopted “unschooling” as an educational representation of my beliefs on how we live our lives, I viewed it as a foundational belief. My firstborn child showed me how that looked in practice. My putting together words to the Collaborative Learning Process was another step to sharing what the journey emerged as through my children’s lives. My definition of unschooling, and what my collaborative learning process offers, is an understanding that there are some foundational beliefs about learning, and then each family and individual builds on top of that. The foundation, therefore, is similar, but the house looks very different!

Some of the foundational points to me are that children have worth and are fully capable of being active participants in their learning journey. Another foundation is that each person learns in their own way and has unique gifts within them as well as shortcomings. Another foundation for me would be that we are all here to help each other grow into who we are meant to be. Another would be that there are stages of learning that help us in our discovery process, whether for self or for others, and we can capitalize on these moments.

I could see where it could be overdone — become a trap rather than a helpful support. In the past, I too often worked my way into a structured trap. My kids would respond to a small amount of regular academics. So I’d pile on more and more incrementally, trying to get to where I sub-consciously thought we “should” be. Of course, they would then get overloaded.

I notice a sort of joyful peace with my kids when the work they are doing is not too much, not too little, and “just right” in kind (you can tell I’ve been reading Goldilocks and the Three Bears to Paddy recentlySmile). Obviously this is not happening all the time every day. For one thing, I make mistakes — break the rhythm of the dance, step on someone’s toe, lose my concentration. But the challenge of that dance– of doing my part in that collaboration — is very invigorating.

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I believe learning comes in all shapes and sizes. Personally, as a person who liked school and did well in it, as did my hubby, when we chose an unschooling perspective, we had no intention of “throwing out the baby with the bathwater”. As a left-brained learner myself, I absolutely loved workbooks and overall learning from books. To this day, if I want to learn something, I prefer to find a book versus seek someone out. My hubby being a whole-brainer, he easily soaked up lectures, didn’t need texts, and intuited abstract information from being exposed to concepts. To this day, he loves to listen to others talk as well as giving self tours with historical and architectural locations. In other words, we recognized that learning happens in books, through people, through experiences, self-guided, through formal avenues, through experiences, with activity-based materials, with lectures, in homes, in communities, in other words, in all facets! What we wanted to change in our learning environment was that each way of learning would be equally valued.

Discovering ones learning style is one component to joyful growth. It shouldn’t limit, but simply create opportunity to give value to diverse ways of learning. My oldest is highly visual and enjoys creative outlets, but loves a good lecture. My daughter equates writing with breathing, but regularly finds herself in nature and studying it. My builder son understands the visual-spatial concept of connecting things together through math and music, and yet curls up with a good book these days. One preference doesn’t negate the benefit of others. I don’t think it’s all or nothing. I truly believe it’s about individual balance and rhythm.

My collaborative learning process is a foundation. It shows how to recognize in order to trust that a learning process exists and what a person can gain from each. It shares that each individual brings their own gifts and purpose to their lives and this world and it is meant to be excavated, grow, flourish and bless. It reveals how the insights, experience, and knowledge of mentors, adults, and parents can be integrated to enhance, lift, and strengthen the young or less experienced. In essence, collaboration opens the door to all the good that is available in assisting us in our individual, unique learning journey.

Although there is a foundation, each house built upon it is glorious onto itself. We are all unique creations of a loving Heavenly Father, built upon His rock. Let us guide our children’s learning lives by principle, not rules. Self before system; self above system!

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Posted in Collaborative Learning, Homeschooling, Learning, Right-Brained/Visual-spatial Learners

Seasonal Schedules vs. School Schedules

Posted on September 4, 2006 | 3 comments

This post ended up getting really, really long, so I broke it up into various elements that I will share over the next few days . . .

JoVe from Tricotomania wrote a post called “Contemplations on the School Year.” I would like to share some experiences our family has chosen as well as my own thoughts on some issues she brings up. To begin, JoVe said:

I have been struck recently by how much homeschoolers seem to be tied to the school year. Many of the blogs I read commented on stopping for the summer, or starting up again recently.

Later, she adds:

I suspect that those with more onerous reporting requirements find that the reporting timetable has some influence on the timetable of their activities. That said, I’ve noticed at least a couple of mentions of ‘logging’ activities during the summer that will count towards compulsory hours spent or whatever.

For the first about thirteen years of having children, my older children didn’t understand the impact of “summer vacation”. Oh, they had heard it, because most of their friends have been public or private schooled, but it didn’t impact them in a way that made them take a close look at it. We were strong unschoolers in the early developmental learning stages of my children’s lives, so learning happened all day and all year long without any significant formal learning activities.

During that time for our family, there were natural shifts that occurred when school started for their friends. Instead of playing almost all day long with them, all of a sudden, their friends attended school for much of the day and then homework loomed before play could begin. Instead of seeing this as a problem, my children seemed to take the beginning of school for their friends as a natural time to use for their own creative outlets and alone time (being so many of mine are introverts) instead of having to reject a friend’s invitation to play when my child was interested in refueling alone. I believe “homework” had a negative connotation to my children, because once the school bus dropped off their friends in the neighborhood, my children expected free access to them, but “doing their homework first” was the gulf between them.

As I reflect on our family’s rhythms and activity choices, I feel weather impacts our schedules more than school. For our family, late spring through summer and into early fall provides more opportunities for diverse learning outdoors. The natural science world is alive and fully operating in its glory. It has more pleasant weather opportunities, where we have lived, for active outdoor play whether at playgrounds, street play (since we have usually lived on cul-de-sacs), forest explorations, sporting activities, and zoo visits. Long-distance traveling also is more appealing for the predictable driving conditions, particularly toward those water destinations and camping endeavors. Overall, summer is higher on the list for outdoor learning activities!

On the other hand, winter time is when we all like to do another type of learning that brings us inward . . . physically and mentally. This is the time I found our family doing the family read alouds, personal reading, drawing, building Legos, and generally more focused learning. Simply in regard to the weather, there was less friend interaction, and more alone time. For trips, winter time seems to encourage visits to the museums, libraries, and other indoor facilities. This was also the time to plan the “out-of-season” special excursions.

Our family capitalizes on what each season offers as it pertains to learning. For example, my hubby enjoys science so he gathered the children together for “nature time with dad” in the early fall that was nature walk driven. He created “Science with Mad Dad” in the winter that was experiment driven. Further, sometime between 11-13 years of age, each child and I would collaborate together in creating a more formal, goal-oriented rhythm to their learning. By the time they were 13, each would usually be working on their own from a schedule we created together that would entail a “full workload” of about 3-4 hours of formal goal-based learning. This internal mind work was geared toward winter, so we often start up on these goals in October and end in March. It was at this time that Abbey proclaimed, “Oh, now I know why summer vacation is something my friends looked forward to!” as she anticipated “taking a break” from her full schedule down to a self-determined pared-down version for the summer. Of course, she realized that she was choosing when she was finished with this type of learning based on the “call of the outdoors” beckoning.

That said, I absolutely recorded all of these activities, good weather activities as much or more than the winter activities, on any formal reporting needs we had to accomplish for our state’s homeschooling requirements. I made specific note to myself that most states end the “school year” one day, and the next day is considered the beginning of the next “school year”, and so it could be reflected in our reporting requirements!

Eric and Abbey playing in a creek in the summer:
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Eric and Abbey playing at the museum in the winter:


Eli creating his “worlds” in the winter:


Eli playing a water game with siblings and friends in the summer:


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Posted in Collaborative Learning, Family, Homeschooling, Learning

Strength-Based Learning, Parental Roles, and the Collaborative Learning Stages

Posted on July 29, 2006 | Leave a comment

On my Homeschooling Creatively list, a question was asked about further explaining what I talk about when I discuss our strength-based learning model in our home. Here is the lister’s question:

When you teach to their strengths, does that mean gear your curriculum towards what they are good (ie- lots of time with music if that’s your strength) OR does it mean to adjust your subjects to include their strengths (ie- compose a song on the piano to get the feel of a poem instead of writing an essay about it) OR does it mean both??!!****

This question allowed me to further explain some of MY interactions with my children through the various Collaborative Learning Stages I discussed here before. I would like to go through that a little bit more clearly here on my blog.

Because this is the first stage that focuses primarily on the learning aspect of life, I will begin here in my descriptions:

The Learning Style Discovery Stage (Ages 5-7). Our learning environment for this stage was mainly set up to give value to those objects, topics, and interests that most appealed to each child. I would (1) add fuel to each focus (i.e., if they liked whales, I might find a book, movie, or toy on such), (2) expand the interest (i.e., if they liked whales, I might talk about the oceans each live in), and/or (3) bring in other ideas based on similarities to the child’s focus (i.e., if they liked whales, what about sharks?). If this was not the environment focus at this stage, how else would one discover the preferred learning style? At no time during this stage did I do the other variation that was asked about: using their interest or strength or learning style to ask them to do other subject areas of non-interest. To me, it seemed instinctive that it would interfere with the learning style disclosure process.

The Exploration Stage (Ages 8-10). During this stage, there were additions to and a slight shifting of my interaction style as facilitator. The above focus on their preferred strengths, interests, and topics was still prevalent at about 60% of devoted time.

However, now I would also add (4) open the world to them, as another role and responsibility in my repertoire to cover about 30% of devoted time. I would do this by using the new and good information I gathered from the previous stage about how they like to learn, and find interesting resources in various topics of non-interest that encompassed that preferred learning style. For instance, Eric didn’t show any interest in poetry, so I bought Shel Silverstein feeling that the creativity exhibited in his work as well as the corny and literal line drawings along with the humor and wit would really appeal to him because it fit his learning style . . . I was right. So, this is a form of the integration of learning style into a subject, but because it was bringing in resources and ideas, it wasn’t required. It was simply a form of exposure using their preferred method of learning. This is also the place where I chose books to read aloud that might peak interests in various topics.

For the last 10% of devoted time began my exploration into some (5) knowledge collaboration, by inviting the child to join me for short teaching moments utilizing their preferred learning style methods and processes. In the areas that the children were not exploring on their own, and I felt it would be information that would be important for them to know on a foundational level and I could sense the child would not be happy later in not being provided this information incrementally or conceptually at this time, I used the information gained about learning styles and temperament in laying this foundation. At this stage, the key was SHORT teaching moments laying the FOUNDATION for certain concepts and skills that would be IMPORTANT for that child.

The Collaborative Learning Stage (Ages 11-13). Another shift occurs within the interaction style with the children as concrete and conscious collaboration begins to occur. Everything stays the same as above except number five, knowledge collaboration, shifts in how it is implemented. Instead of invitations to short teaching moments, it changes to meetings to discuss formal goal-based learning.

Conversations begin to occur on a more mindful and conscious level about how the child likes to learn, where he/she thinks his/her education will take him/her, what the child finds important, and what goals and pursuits interest the child for his/her immediate future and later future. I share with the child what I see might be important for them, where I think his/her education can take him/her, and what I think might be good goals and pursuits based on the child’s view of his/her immediate and later futures as well as my bigger view of what possibilities exist. This may actually be the first realization for my children that an education was occurring; whereas, before, they had simply been experiencing the joy of learning.

The collaboration now begins on what formal goals to pursue. Depending on the child, usually we start with one topic or subject or interest that would be important to them, but is not typically pursued by them naturally. This means it usually comes from those subjects that were in the 10% category in the previous stage. As we sit in collaboration I point out why I think a subject might be important for her/him to pursue. Often, they agree and desire to add it to their learning process. Then, together we collaborate on how best they want to pursue the topic through a brainstorming session, bringing in the ways she/he typically like to learn. Over this entire stage, the subjects/topics pursued in this area grow until it is encompassing about 30% of their pursuits. Then, the next stage occurs . . .
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The Gift Focus Stage (Ages 14-16). This is the stage that it all comes together where mindful independent pursuits and collaborative decision-making is all utilized for a cohesive goal-based learning environment.

Because of the shift to mindful decision-making in the areas of non-interest-based areas, the children naturally start becoming more conscious of their areas of strength and interest. What I noticed was another shift from my having to do a lot in numbers 1-3 (add fuel, expand, and link to similarities) in the early stages, to now each child is pursuing these strengths, interests, and topics naturally, willingly, and with self initiation. If they need something, they come to me now. When the collaborative planning meeting occurs, I look to them to show me what and how he/she wants to pursue these areas of strength. This can be non-typical subjects such as drawing, music, animal care, or typical subjects like writing, math, science, or reading. This area continues to encompass 60% of time given.

The 30% timeframe continues the process completed in the last stage by focusing through the collaborative process on those areas that are revealed as being important to the child, but they don’t pursue on their own or have a natural like for it. This might drastically change through the course of this stage based on when the child begins to dramatically focus in a particular gift area. At that time, it became even more important that I be honest with myself and make sure I don’t think certain things that society values as important is what and why I was making certain suggestions. For instance, it became apparent that Abbey was really going to focus on writing and animal care (non professional), so math is not going to be important to her except to the level of taking care of day to day needs, which she had learned by 15, so she desired to drop math. But, vocabulary development might be important to her, but she wasn’t pursuing that on her own. Since Abbey likes to write, I found a resource that has about ten vocabulary words at a time at a level she was ready for, and she chose to take those words and write a short story using those words. This would not work for Eli who dislikes writing, so he learns through mneumonics, which capitalizes on his pictorial image skill and literal humor.

Sometimes, I might suggest something that will be important to them, let’s say they want to go to college, and they need a couple sciences although they won’t be science-driven. I suggest they do a science, but then we brainstorm which one would be most interesting. Astronomy, Chemistry, Biology, Entomology, Anatomy and Physiology, etc. Most often, the children aren’t interested in pursuing “typical categories” that schools rely on.

In the last stage, we had phased the 10% category into the 30% category, which is where we are now at above. So, now what about that 10% timeframe? This now encompasses areas that I feel are not important to the child, or what they are doing, but I feel might be good to have a very general exposure to it. This is now using knowledge collaboration to share my wisdom in learning certain subjects to a basic level. For example, history was one of those things for Abbey that she never liked. I shared with her that I think knowing about history to a general level is always good because it shows where your roots stem from and lessons learned. I empathized with her how it just didn’t appeal to her, because it didn’t for me, either. So, we brainstormed ways that it might become appealing. We knew she LOVES books, and historical fiction was always very interesting to her as she went through an American Girl phase and a Dear America phase. So, I found some unit studies with books that I thought she might like and gave it all to her and suggested she read the books and do any of the activities she was interested in. She ended up LOVING history. But, a season was enough in the grand scheme of things.

The Transitional Stage (Ages 17-19). The final shift that we have experienced is into independent adult living and learning. Remember, each of these shifts is seamless . . . they flow right into one another and one style slowly fades and reshapes into another. As one may have noticed up to this point, the 60% devotion timeframe continues throughout to stay focused in the strength-based, individualized gift and talent area of each child. This stage is no different. However, one may find that certain non-preferred areas of learning are getting greater attention and added into this arena if a particular goal has become of more importance, such as entering college.

In the 30% timeframe, encouraging my children, if it doesn’t come naturally, to add work to their schedule is important in the transition to adulthood. At first, this could be paid work through family, but I have experienced that moving toward outside employment to be a good step by 18. Further, this segment should also include some kind of formal learning opportunity outside of the home, such as community college classes, a volunteer opportunity in their field of interest, a serious mentorship or internship, and/or travel.

The last 10% would be filled with such objectives as SAT/ACT tests, application processes, interviewing colleges or people in their field of interest, or any other type of preparatory activity toward adult and independent living.

The shift that occurs in this stage that is different from every one previous is that I sat more as a counselor than a collaborator. At this stage, each child has been more confident about taking the role of self-initiator and goal setter, but still very much need wise counsel from an adult mentor. This may very well be someone trusted outside the family as well. But, scheduling an actual meeting to discuss their life goals and pursuits in a formal manner is crucial. Mindful planning and accountability are still important elements in helping our children transition successfully, is what we discovered so far.

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Organizing . . . William and Joseph

Posted on July 25, 2006 | 1 comment

Several of you bloggers got me thinking of how I could organize differently to best meet the needs of certain children in my family at this time.  William and Joseph are high energy, low attention span boys, but still love to dabble in learning activities that I come up with.  However, whenever I have tried to create “a plan” in the past, because our lifestyle necessitates flexibility with the size and uniqueness of those living within it, “plans” don’t last long.  So, I needed something flexible enough for my schedule, but that goes WITH their exploratory stage, yet accounts for their short attention spans, and still opens the world more up to them.

Combining the inspiration I received from Theresa at Lapaz Farm Home Learning in her post called “Kinderplanning” and Faith at Dumb Ox Academy in her post called “Natural Structure” I’ve come up with something that I think might just be a good fit this year for these two children.  I found a nine cubbie wall unit (in the closet organizer section of Lowe’s), bought two, and put one in the living room (William and Joseph’s) and one in the kitchen (Alex and Adam):

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Although both of these posts I have gained inspiration from are Montessori based thinking, I wanted to apply it to the “categories” that William and Joseph would most be interested in.  What I came up with was:  church, letters, numbers, arts/crafts, science, fine motor, writing, books, sensory play.  A ton of ideas entered my head after scanning over Faith’s great ideas in her post with items I already had around my house.

But, then I ended up over at my unit study collection.  There’s a particular publisher I like and I have quite a few in various levels that have served various purposes over the years.  I had a few in the early childhood level and started looking them over.  The thing with some of these units is that the books can often be out of print.  But, I looked over their activity ideas, and in each book area, I could find new ideas that would fit in each of the categories.  Or, something was mentioned that got my own creative juices flowing with my own idea.  I’m not that interested in following the “themes” outlined in these books, but I’m more interested in using these books to give me new ideas and ways to present various learning opportunities.Achieving a natural appearance following surgical process in males may be unprepared to accept that there is a homeopathic remedy available for almost every condition (yes, there really is a homeopathic medicine is purely the result of the placebo effect. cheap levitra

The way I figure it right now is that the nine cubbies can last me for a week before I rotate out resources.  I also see the children going to the cubbies as they are interested, as well as my inviting them over once or twice a day for an hour or so or however it lasts.

My intent for Adam is slightly different, and yet the same.  He has reached the stage where he is ready for more independence and autonomy and responsibility toward balancing his free exploration, interests, self care, and more formal learning.  The cubbie system will be part of his independence in formal learning and exploration.  I haven’t completely formulated his side yet, nor Alex’s, because I want to take one new thing at a time (a new habit?) in order to see if it can become a part of our lives right now.  I intend to have Adam’s portion ready in about 2-3 weeks, and I’ll post about it then.

I’ll keep you up to date as to how William and Joseph like the new organization, new accessibility, and new interaction over the next few weeks!  Thanks again for the inspiration, blog friends 🙂

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Posted in Beginnings, Collaborative Learning, Homeschooling, Learning