Category Archives: Family

Happy Birthday, Adam

Posted on September 12, 2006 | 4 comments

Today is my sweet Adam’s birthday. Many would find our use of “sweet” an anomoly, since he frightens most people with his intense personality (because of how autism affects him). But, when you get to know him by loving him and learning with him, you fall in love. (A young lady from our church just discovered that this summer as she worked with him while on university break. She adores him now.) Anyway, he’s 14. My unique son had a unique birthday.

It started off as a normal day. We were able to go two days in a row now with “working”, as we call it . . . where he will do some activities with me, some academic, some language, some pleasure, etc. For instance, the agenda today was clean room, math (one of his favorite subjects), switching attention (mixing between asking what’s an opposite, what’s another word for, and what rhymes with with one word . . . so, a language activity), spelling (another favorite subject), read aloud (a short story Sleeping Beauty today . . . Disney being a huge favorite of his as well), scriptures (he has learned to “mark” them simply by underlining them with various colored pencils), piano (still at 5 finger playing, but he loves music), and riding his bike (which he just learned to do . . . he went down to the stop sign today).

Afterward, we drove to Wal-mart so he could pick out a birthday present. He wanted a video game. He chose “The Nightmare Before Christmas: The Pumpkin King” . . . that latter part seems to be important to include . . . for Game Boy Advance. While there, as a spur of the moment decision since we were passing through the birthday party aisle, I asked Adam if he wanted some birthday blowers and balloons. He excitedly pointed to the mylar balloons and asked for one of those . . . an Elmo one. I happily agreed, and grabbed some of the blowers and blow up balloons as well.

Upon arriving home, Abbey helped set him up with GBA and his new game, while Eric was finishing up baking Adam’s birthday cake: chocolate/chocolate. Alex then announced he wanted to spend his earned money on Papa John’s cheese sticks . . . his favorite food, as is Adam’s, and wanted to buy a whole one just for Adam for his birthday. Usually, when it’s pizza night, I get a cheese stick and the two of them split it. Alex kept it a secret and upon returning from picking it up with his sister, went upstairs to “surprise Adam” with his birthday present for him. Adam was indeed surprised, especially to be getting a whole one to himself. You could tell from his face and eyes that he was appreciative of his brother’s generosity.

Within a short time, we called Adam down to sing happy birthday and have him blow out his candles. This is an important event, as Adam wouldn’t understand that he was a different age without being able to count the candles on the cake, and have the birthday song sung to him. It’s his prompt that he has to change the age in which he responds to the question, “How old are you?” He grins from ear to ear when he gets sung the happy birthday song and is privileged to blow out the candles of his own cake. He eagerly took a slice of cake up to his hideaway (his bedroom, along with the cheese sticks and GBA).

This was a good birthday, indeed, Adam-style.

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Anna helping Adam learn to wash his own face and hands, then brush his teeth, but Adam periodically having fun spraying the water everywhere instead:

4 Comments

Posted in Autism, Family, Homeschooling

Memories

Posted on September 11, 2006 | 3 comments

As some are looking back at the five year anniversary of 9-11, I thought I would take the opportunity to share our memories of that time. In 2001, our family had been homeschooling for nine years and one of the benefits we enjoyed was our family togetherness. But, a few months before September, I thought it would be enjoyable to get to spend a “vacation” in my own home . . . alone . . . no children, no husband . . . giving me a chance to organize. So, my involved hubby volunteered to take the children on an adventure camping in a cabin at a state park in central PA. It was set for the week including . . . 9-11. So, the one time I choose to be separated from my family, something catastrophic occurs 🙁

As most other people naturally reacted, I desperately wanted to “circle the wagons” and be close to my children and hubby, and yet, I couldn’t. Not only couldn’t I be with them, they were out of contact, including cell phone. I just prayed my hubby would call me at noon, as he had the previous two days, although we had not scheduled to do that on a daily basis. He did, and I was able to let him know what happened. We agreed that he should stay where he was since all the airports were shutting down, and with the plane that was going down in rural PA somewhere, and all the traffic from those trying to get home was still occurring, it seemed it would create potential chaos to throw themselves into that. He was at a peaceful place and could safely share the news with the children.

I found it ironic, and even a little unfair, that I was separated at this time from my family. Here I had created a lifestyle that increased the odds of my being with my family during a crisis, and yet, I wasn’t with them. The next day, September 12, is my fourth child’s birthday, although he was not there to celebrate it. However, I tried to remind myself of my blessings. This same day as my son’s birthday is the anniversary of my baptism into the church, which is a source of peace and a firm foundation for all that I believe and hope. Regardless, it took me several days to tear myself away from the TV and try to create a semblance of normalcy and still accomplish a few of the goals I had for organizing.

Before leaving on the trip, we discovered our station wagon of ten years would not be able to make it, so we rented a van. Upon my family’s return from the trip, we hit the car lots for a new family vehicle. Business was expectedly very dry, so deals were prevalent. I felt a bit guilty capitalizing at this particular time, but life does what it does, and we needed a vehicle. We ended up getting a used GMC Surburban.

Then, go forward a few more weeks, on September 29, and our lives changed dramatically, again, forever. Two little boys entered our lives through foster care, and are now permanently part of our lives through adoption. So, a month of disaster turned to one of blessing for our family. Of course, we no longer fit into the new family vehicle . . . LOL! (We since have traded in the Surburban for a 15 passenger van.)

Admittedly, September, 2001, now stands as a beacon to the additions to our family more than the tragedy to our country. But, as others have said many times since 9-11, no terrorist acts will keep us from standing tall and proud and strong and ever moving forward in hope and love.

Three of the children at the cabin in central PA, 9/01:
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First photo of William, 9/29/01:

First photo of Joseph, 9/29/01:

3 Comments

Posted in Beginnings, Family

Family Rhythms vs. School Rhythms: Travel and Community Activities

Posted on September 7, 2006 | 2 comments

This is a continuation of my thoughts on the post that JoVe from Tricotomania wrote called “Contemplations on the School Year.”

In regard to the wonderful opportunity homeschooling provides in travel year-round, JoVe wrote:

First of all, let me say that one of the positive benefits of homeschooling for me is the ability to do things (particularly travel) outside of the usual school vacation times. This has financial benefits and also means that attractions are less crowded.

As I mentioned earlier, our family also takes advantage of “out-of-season” travel, also known as within the operational school schedules. But, there’s a difference in my mind because it rarely has occurred to me to think about our travel plans in conjunction to the school schedule! Why should it? As JoVe mentioned, I’m a homeschooler, so the school schedule doesn’t mean anything to me in planning travel experiences. The primary motivating factors for our family in looking into travel opportunities is the inspiration or drive of a particular family member’s desire to experience a particular event or activity as well as timing in regard to our own family rhythms. The secondary factors that are considered are weather conditions and expectations, prices (which obviously are effected by the school schedule), and expected crowds (again, effected by the school schedule). Therefore, it has been just as prevalent for our family to take trips during typical travel times such as summer or holidays as it is during regularly scheduled school days. We travel year-round in synchronization to our own family rhythms.

JoVe continues with some thoughts about local and community activities offered in relation to the school schedule:

So one thing influencing homeschoolers’ calendars is the fact that we might want our children to partake in some group activities with other children and these are often geared to schooled children and thus available in relation to the scholastic calendar.

This would also extend to activities during the school year. The recreation centre organizes their swimming lessons on a timetable that fits with school terms and summer holidays so even the homeschooling groups get scheduled in those terms.

I’m not sure I have felt these effects as greatly as JoVe is implying. I have found, particularly in the last 5-7 years, that most activities are now offered to homeschoolers during school hours, and at wonderfully advantageous lower prices. Admittedly, I absolutely love this aspect about homeschooling and group activities in the community because I get to drive in regular, low-key, day traffic, save a few dollars, and wait out the activity in a usually laid-back environment with periodic great conversation opportunities with like-minds. These activities can be from gymnastics to YMCA gym-and-swims to park and recreation sponsored sports to 4-H groups to the typical field trip to anywhere.

I have found the main problem arises when a child is interested in entering a more competitive atmosphere, such as when my son, Eli, wanted to join the competitive boys’ gymnastic’s team. I found myself stuck with the school schedule-driven timeframes, and the traffic, prices, and mainstream waiting room experience that goes with it. What that time period gave me was simply the realization of how nice the “slow life” really is.

On the other hand, in some fields, entering the competitive field doesn’t have to mean you end up in the “hustle and bustle world” of school schedule timing. When Eli took high quality piano lessons, we were able to find qualified instructors that gave us our preferred times during the day. This was also true for English horse riding lessons for Abbey, although the competitions were on the weekends and summer, though that may have been based more on work schedules since there were as many adults at these events as young people.

JoVe goes on to comment about the pacing of the events offerered:

Has anyone thought of a different format? Perhaps the intensive 1 week day-camp format? Has this been tried and shown to not work for one reason or another? Or are we following the scholastic calendar and once a week scheduling out of habits so deeply ingrained we hardly perceive them?

Again, my first instinct is that I am not attracted to once a week scheduling out of habit or conditioning, but because it would be more in line with respecting our family’s internal rhythms. In order to bring one child to an activity, let’s say based on an interest, that met every day for a week, for a 2-4 hour block, would require extensive rearrangement of my schedule, let alone everyone else’s in the home. Then, try to dupicate that for several children, I wonder if there would be any semblance of rhythm to the family? The family and home are important elements to our homeschool lifestyle.

On the other hand, week-long overnight camps for my older children are something we look for at least on an every year basis. I believe a week-long day activity 2-3 times a year per child would be likely an advantageous immersion experience into a beloved topic. My oldest son, at 10, attended a week-long day camp for drawing, and he absolutely LOVED it. But, to do something like that every week would interfere with what homeschooling stands for in our life. So, let’s say it might be beneficial once a month, but then, it comes down to a binge sort of experience, which might have it’s appeal. On the other hand, take those five days, spread them over the month, back to the once a month system, and you have a consistent diet, which has another sort of appeal.

I guess what I’m saying on this one is that I don’t see it being representative of a school schedule, but one of a rhythmic sort of feel. Further, I don’t see what would hold a homeschooler back to creating week-long “day camps” based on various interests. As homeschoolers, it’s long been a mentality of “create what you want” and “if you create it, they will come”. I remember my first year of homeschooling, my oldest was extensively into dinosaurs. He had accomplished so much independent learning that I could sense that he would enjoy sharing this passion with someone else. So, I organized a “unit study” type of situation, invited a young lady that was equally enthralled with the topic, and met and learned together every day for several hours or more for one or two weeks, I can’t remember. It never occurred to me not to put something together for him in this vein.
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If you’re talking about other facilities and organizations offering these types of week-long camp experiences, I would think it would be a matter of discussing it’s viability with them and asking them to give it a try. For instance, our local science center often offers week-long camps in the summer, but only weekly classes for homeschoolers during the school year. But, I’ll bet they would consider offering a week-long camp during the school schedule if it was broached by the local homeschoolers.

Abbey with horse, Radar, and coach, Christy. Weekly riding lessons on Fridays at noon:

Adam on the parallel bars for Special Olympics gymnastics, with me as coach, during the day each week at a gym I was able to work a freeby deal with:

Alex with friends for a weekly unit study that he desired, so I made it happen . . . weekly was enough for him:

Family picture at Disney World in February, 2006. We had a FAB time:

2 Comments

Posted in Family, Homeschooling

Seasonal Schedules vs. School Schedules

Posted on September 4, 2006 | 3 comments

This post ended up getting really, really long, so I broke it up into various elements that I will share over the next few days . . .

JoVe from Tricotomania wrote a post called “Contemplations on the School Year.” I would like to share some experiences our family has chosen as well as my own thoughts on some issues she brings up. To begin, JoVe said:

I have been struck recently by how much homeschoolers seem to be tied to the school year. Many of the blogs I read commented on stopping for the summer, or starting up again recently.

Later, she adds:

I suspect that those with more onerous reporting requirements find that the reporting timetable has some influence on the timetable of their activities. That said, I’ve noticed at least a couple of mentions of ‘logging’ activities during the summer that will count towards compulsory hours spent or whatever.

For the first about thirteen years of having children, my older children didn’t understand the impact of “summer vacation”. Oh, they had heard it, because most of their friends have been public or private schooled, but it didn’t impact them in a way that made them take a close look at it. We were strong unschoolers in the early developmental learning stages of my children’s lives, so learning happened all day and all year long without any significant formal learning activities.

During that time for our family, there were natural shifts that occurred when school started for their friends. Instead of playing almost all day long with them, all of a sudden, their friends attended school for much of the day and then homework loomed before play could begin. Instead of seeing this as a problem, my children seemed to take the beginning of school for their friends as a natural time to use for their own creative outlets and alone time (being so many of mine are introverts) instead of having to reject a friend’s invitation to play when my child was interested in refueling alone. I believe “homework” had a negative connotation to my children, because once the school bus dropped off their friends in the neighborhood, my children expected free access to them, but “doing their homework first” was the gulf between them.

As I reflect on our family’s rhythms and activity choices, I feel weather impacts our schedules more than school. For our family, late spring through summer and into early fall provides more opportunities for diverse learning outdoors. The natural science world is alive and fully operating in its glory. It has more pleasant weather opportunities, where we have lived, for active outdoor play whether at playgrounds, street play (since we have usually lived on cul-de-sacs), forest explorations, sporting activities, and zoo visits. Long-distance traveling also is more appealing for the predictable driving conditions, particularly toward those water destinations and camping endeavors. Overall, summer is higher on the list for outdoor learning activities!

On the other hand, winter time is when we all like to do another type of learning that brings us inward . . . physically and mentally. This is the time I found our family doing the family read alouds, personal reading, drawing, building Legos, and generally more focused learning. Simply in regard to the weather, there was less friend interaction, and more alone time. For trips, winter time seems to encourage visits to the museums, libraries, and other indoor facilities. This was also the time to plan the “out-of-season” special excursions.

Our family capitalizes on what each season offers as it pertains to learning. For example, my hubby enjoys science so he gathered the children together for “nature time with dad” in the early fall that was nature walk driven. He created “Science with Mad Dad” in the winter that was experiment driven. Further, sometime between 11-13 years of age, each child and I would collaborate together in creating a more formal, goal-oriented rhythm to their learning. By the time they were 13, each would usually be working on their own from a schedule we created together that would entail a “full workload” of about 3-4 hours of formal goal-based learning. This internal mind work was geared toward winter, so we often start up on these goals in October and end in March. It was at this time that Abbey proclaimed, “Oh, now I know why summer vacation is something my friends looked forward to!” as she anticipated “taking a break” from her full schedule down to a self-determined pared-down version for the summer. Of course, she realized that she was choosing when she was finished with this type of learning based on the “call of the outdoors” beckoning.

That said, I absolutely recorded all of these activities, good weather activities as much or more than the winter activities, on any formal reporting needs we had to accomplish for our state’s homeschooling requirements. I made specific note to myself that most states end the “school year” one day, and the next day is considered the beginning of the next “school year”, and so it could be reflected in our reporting requirements!

Eric and Abbey playing in a creek in the summer:
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Eric and Abbey playing at the museum in the winter:

Eli creating his “worlds” in the winter:

Eli playing a water game with siblings and friends in the summer:

3 Comments

Posted in Collaborative Learning, Family, Homeschooling, Learning

The Art of Imitation

Posted on July 30, 2006 | 3 comments

We finally had our front porch roof repaired last Wednesday from a leak we had been experiencing for some years. I had no doubt that my two youngest boys would be there with bells on watching and imitating. With a large third story window overlooking the porch roof, it would be a breeze to have front and center seats in watching these men at work. I had my camera ready for the action that would inevitably follow. Here are my favorites:

In the spring, our family was sad to have the owners of the empty lot next to our home clear it in order to make it more appealing to buyers. Although all the small trees that had grown into medium trees had to come down along with a large, mostly dead tree, it was great fodder for more imitation from Joseph, who absolutely loves construction vehicles. I was able to capture a few gems:

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Having had two children completely without imitative skills because of their struggle living with autism, I still don’t take this type of amazing natural ability for granted. With a whole lot of work, both boys with autism can now imitate to an equivalent level as their peers. However, it is not as automatic or engrained to their being as it is with these two younger boys. I always stand in awe, and at the ready with my camera, to capture the art of imitation.

3 Comments

Posted in Autism, Family, Learning

Great Help + Great Friends = Great Long Weekend

Posted on July 18, 2006 | 5 comments

What a pleasant long weekend I’ve enjoyed with my family and friends. It can be tough to put in enough preparation and supports and flexibility in order for my whole family to equally enjoy outings together. Maybe I’ve got some of this parenting support stuff down more than I give myself credit for 🙂

Anyway, it started with Friday heading out to a lake to swim. I invited my good friend, Kyna, and her two young, adorable children, along. Her hubby didn’t have to work that day, so he decided to tag along as well. I was excited that I would be able to enjoy the day with a friend to talk to in between playing with the children.

This summer, I have a young lady, Anna, working for me who is on summer break from university. She works with both Adam and Alex in learning skills and strategies that are most important to them in their lives at this time. I am lucky that Anna is intelligent and picked up on how to interact with each of them uniquely as well as understanding the different aspects of learning they are both desiring that is so different from one another. It made training go quickly and painlessly for me and the boys. Anna came along with us.

I always start off an activity by asking each child if they are interested in coming. I know if swimming is involved, there will be an unequivocal yes from William, Joseph and Adam. Alex dislikes water quite a bit, so it all depends for him what else may be available. He had recently tried another swimming-based activity and really enjoyed himself, so he decided to give this outing a try based on what I remember it being like. Eli was off at scout camp, Abbey wanted to go because she likes hanging out with the family, and Eric declined.

So, off we headed with cooler, picnic basket, and swim toys . . . and all eleven of us in our fifteen passenger van! It ended up not being what Alex desired after all, but being 1.5 hours from home, he had to make do, with Anna being his saving grace at exploring around the park to find activities that would pass the time away. Oh, thank goodness for Anna, for more reasons than this. There was a transitional difficulty between Adam and Alex when we arrived, and I helped Anna understand that her presence alone helped alleviate the situation in a short amount of time and thoroughly enough that both boys were able to continue the swimming activity happily. Autism can be so complex . . .

Anyway, it is so pleasant to relax in the lake as you watch your children enjoying their play and friends and activities in the water. Each does their own thing that brings happy times to their heart, and my heart is full as I observe and interact in their world. Here are some pictures that my friend took:

William on the left; Joseph on the right:

Abbey on the left; Alex/Me on the right.

On the left, Adam is laying down on the yellow safety line which he enjoyed joining in on after so many other children were doing it . . .
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On the right is me on the left, and my friend and her daughter . . .

On Saturday, my hubby and I, and William and Joseph drove 1.5 hours to Mt. Airy, home of The Andy Griffith Show, to go to a John Deere toy store to see if they had any John Deere bicycles . . . yes, bicycles. And, ya know, there was ONE there and it was a 16 inch, just Joseph’s size. Joseph LOVES John Deere. There was also a John Deere bicycle helmet with elbow and knee pads, and we bought him a new John Deere shirt. He was SOOOO cute 🙂 Later in the day, we picked up William a new 20 inch red bicycle as well. Here’s a picture of JoJo all suited up:

On Monday, we gathered altogether again and headed for yet another swimming hole. This time it was to a pool at a campground where the local unschooling group garnered a group rate for a daily admission. Again, my friend Kyna and her two children, this time minus hubby, came with me, as well as Anna in tow for the boys’ benefit. This time Alex knew he wanted to go as he had a great time last time. That’s because this place has buildings with ceiling fans in them, which he LOVES, as well as an arcade room and a putt-putt, that all comes with admission to the campground for the day.

Although I was a bit tired to consider packing everyone up again, they all wanted to go and it is only offered once a month, so I pulled up my bootstraps, and again, had a blast with the children. The main pool has a rope swing that you can swing over and into the pool from a platform. The rule is that you only should swing out the one time and let go so that no injuries occur from not getting out far enough.

Adam LOVES that rope swing, and because of autism, the first time he tried the rope swing the one time we went last year, he was a bit scared and apprehensive, but interested and excited, and it took him three swings before he was brave enough to let go, thus, a “pattern” was established. Because of that, he continued to swing three times before letting go into the pool. No one “pressed charges” against his rule breaking, but I tried to encourage him to let go sooner.

Last time, a month ago, we came, he was able to go down to two swings. A bunch of great teens (homeschoolers) were there being a big brother to him and it was sweet. I always make sure to tell people when I see these types of kindnesses that I noticed and appreciate it! One family (non-homeschooling) was not happy about Adam “breaking the rules” and reported him to the employees. The employee empathized with me and said she had to ask me to go over and observe and try for the sake of this family. I was almost over to him when she hurried over and said, “They just left; don’t worry about it now.” I love when owners are flexible!

Anyway, at this visit, Adam did just one swing! Hurrah, Adam! He usually can “get there”, but it takes longer for him to bring his “patterns” down, one at a time, over a period of time. I excitedly reported his accomplishment to the employee. She was happy FOR HIM. Again, the same group of young people were sweetly accommodating to Adam’s need for a little help and patience as he took a turn. Next time I’ll remember to take my camera and take a picture of Adam on the rope swing 🙂

Another wonderful day . . . great help . . . great friends . . . great long weekend!

5 Comments

Posted in Autism, Family

Homeschooling Meme

Posted on July 9, 2006 | 3 comments

Susan at Imperfect Genius started a homeschooling meme that I thought I would get in on . . .

1) What country/region/state do you live in?

North Carolina, for the past six years.

2) How long have you been homeschooling? Just getting started, old pro or somewhere in between?

Hhhmmm, “old pro” implies that you know what you’re doing, and I can’t say that. In fact, one of the joys, to me, of homeschooling is that because it is so individual, or that’s how we do things, and every individual goes through different stages, nothing is ever stagnant. It’s always evolving with the individual, so our homeschooling is always evolving. And, just when I think I figured out what one child needs for one stage, he/she changes. Drat!

But, in the traditional sense of things, I officially put on the cloak of homeschooler in 1992. However, when I came to homeschooling, I was searching for a way to continue what had been working for us since our first child’s birth, so I would say we’ve been living the lifestyle of a homeschooler since 1987.

3) Write a little something about your family. Ages? Stages?

Eric is 19 and is at the transitioning stage. He enjoys everything Japanese, manga, video/computer games, designing costumes (which he’s thinking about majoring in), and drawing.

Abbey is 17 and has achieved the gift-focus stage and is entering her transitioning stage. She enjoys writing (she says it’s now like breathing . . . if she doesn’t write, she’ll die . . . although it sounds high drama, which is not like her at all, it is more poetic, which is more her genre), her animals (all 12 of them), and computer creativity (designing CD covers, her website, or making digital movies).

Eli is 15 and is solidly in the gift-focus stage. He loves computer programming, computer games, math (yes, he does this for fun!), and piano. He used to spend hours building with Legos and Technics, robotics and stop-gap action movies, but has evolved.

Adam is 13 and is bordering between the collaborative learning stage and the gift-focus stage. It should be interesting this next year. He loves to watch movies, play video games, play computer arcade games, and reading.

Alex is 11 and has entered the collaborative learning stage. He has just been learning how to assemble ceiling fans himself that he buys from his earned money as his interest in ceiling fans continues, enjoys watching installation videos for garage doors and openers, watching movies, and his interest in reading has taken off with his enjoyment of Junie B. Jones, which is definitely his humor style.

William is 7 and is bordering on leaving the learning style discovery stage and going into the exploration stage. He loves bugs, swords, action figures (particularly The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars), and always creating costumes for and being in “character”.

Joseph is 5 and has finally left the temperament stage and is into the learning style discovery stage. He is a HUGE Daddy’s boy and will work outside with dad all day if daddy will be with him. He loves John Deere, tractors, construction vehicles and gardening tools. Yesterday, Daddy finally just let him mow the grass with the push mower because he was so determined. He did great!

4) Share some good homeschooling advice you’ve run across.

When your children ask you for help, don’t turn it into a lesson.

5) Tell us something you’re passionate about (besides your family and homeschooling, those are givens!).

Although this has to do with both, I truly am passionate about learning styles. It is absolutely fascinating to me. If the “stages” I talked about above intrigue you, I intend to write about it soon. It’s my own version of what I noticed my children’s natural learning paths encompassed, if you want to put it to “stages”.

Reading is something I’ve always enjoyed, but am very careful doing so because I will not do anything else, including being with my family 🙂 From time to time, I will also pick up some stitching such as knitting, crocheting, cross stitch . . . not sewing . . . don’t know how.

6) If you could take the ultimate field trip, where would you go and why?

A chocolate factory . . . with free samples! LOL!

7) What is a resource you can’t do without?

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The computer!

Now that we have a nice scanner/copier/printer . . . gotta love it!

8) How do you homeschool? Classical, Charlotte Mason, Waldorf, Unschooling, Eclectic?

We most identify with unschooling, but I would self describe our learning lives as collaborative learning and strength-based learning.

9) Share a website or two that you visit often – can be your favorite blogger or a curriculum supplier, just any sites you really like.

I wish I could get a lot more stuff at Different Roads to Learning.

I like Love to Learn.

10) Tell us about one of your favorite projects/activities/trips you’ve had in the past few months.

It was more than a few months ago, but the family vacation to Disney World we literally organized in 24 hours back in February was absolutely priceless for family togetherness. As the children were getting older and our lives were filling a bit more up with stress, we chose to go into the trip with absolutely no expectations and came away with renewed unity and bonding. Wonderful memories for everyone! Can’t beat that!

11) What is a current/previous homeschooling challenge you’ve faced?

I lost the person who was helping me help William learn because of her personal family needs and he really needs to have someone commit to using his learning method to learn to identify his alphabet starting this summer which takes a lot of time and commitment. Basically, I’m going to try to implement better time management skills in my own life, and to start using a flexible schedule for myself again, in order that I might be able to accomplish this myself. Well, let’s put it this way, I HAVE to make this work!

12) Share an accomplishment, something about you or your children. Come on, brag about it!

There are always personal victories for each of my children from Adam being able to independently make his own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to Alex buying and assembling his own ceiling fan to Eli being asked to play piano for a regional conference (so others are hearing about his talents and requesting him) to Abbey being selected to play her ocarina for a talent show (through a selection process) and also placing second for her poem she submitted to Joseph coming home from church today not having been kicked out of his class, again, for his hyperactivity differences.

13) What are you looking forward to over the coming year?

Instead of “stealing time” here and there, I’ve carved out specific time each day for me to devote a segment of my energy toward an on-line business which combines with my desire to “give back” both to society and my family.

14) Name three things you like doing in the summer with your family.

Doing family things together outside near dusk and into the dark hours.

Riding bikes.

Swimming.

15) Have a favorite homeschooling quote? Share it here.

The Animal School, the version as shared by Stephanie at Throwing Marshmallows.

3 Comments

Posted in Family, Homeschooling

City Mouse or Country Mouse?

Posted on July 2, 2006 | 5 comments

I grew up in a small town two city blocks from my local elementary school, where I walked each day, and came home for lunch, walking again. Right when I started junior high school, we moved to the country of that same small town, literally a stone’s throw from the city limits sign, on four acres, across the street from my grandparents. We soon built a barn and bought two horses: one for my mother and one for me, around my junior year in high school.

My hubby grew up in the country on the opposite side of this same small town. They had a pond and some woods, but no animals. They lived down the street from a family campground where he spent just as much time as well.

When we were dating, we often conjured up images of where we wanted to raise our children. Both of us agreed it would be in the country, with animals, and a tractor, and lots of acres. Well, almost 21 years of marriage later, we’ve not ever lived in the country because of the path that life led us on, but we are now really wanting to finally make that desire a reality.

But . . . I find myself nervous. I mean, we’ve been “corporate gypsies” most of our married life, both when we were in the working world and even while we were in university. We’ve lived in various places anywhere from two weeks to three years, until North Carolina, where we have been living for the past six years. We’ve lived in Allegan, Michigan; Okemos, Michigan; East Lansing, Michigan; Tempe, Arizona; Allegan, Michigan; Ypsilanti, Michigan; Ann Arbor, Michigan; Delaware, Ohio (two places); Gibsonia, Pennsylvania; Richmond, Kentucky; Elliottsburg, Pennsylvania; Boiling Springs, Pennsylvania; and now here in Trinity, North Carolina. That’s fourteen homes, twelve cities, and six states. All of these locations have either been in rentals in the city or in suburbia.

So, my role as woman, wife, mother, homeschooler, and citizen has been as a city mouse. That’s all I’ve ever known for the past 21 years. What if that’s what I’m now comfortable with? What if I don’t know how to be a country mouse? What if I hate it after all? What if I’m biting off more than I can chew going into my 40s? What are the cost/benefits to each individual child? The tale of the country mouse and the city mouse certainly comes to my mind, and it has an interesting tale (tail?) to tell about appreciating where you are from and to each his own. On the other hand, I remember having to be the main breadwinner for our family the first seven years of our marriage and being worried that “what if” I don’t like being a full time mother? But I loved it. It was something I had always wanted, and certainly I was doing it some of the time, so maybe it’s not as big a leap as going from city to country living.

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Here are what we have enjoyed as suburbia dewellers: a nice, big house that gives us room enough for our big family of mainly introverts to have their own “space” to get away and/or keep their projects, “safe” neighbors although not always the friendliest, safe roads to ride bikes on (and we’ve almost always chosen a cul-de-sac location), manageable yard care (we usually live on acre lots), easy access to convenieces and community activities, right now we have a bit of both worlds with a 97 acre farm adjoining our backyard and an empty lot next to us (for exploring in the woods and taking our dogs and children for long walks in the field, although the owners are trying to sell it and our subdivision just beat a recent proposal to put an “anthill style subdivision there”, so it is probably a matter of time . . . .).

What I think we’ll enjoy about being in the country is being able to get horses and other farm animals of our choosing, room to run and explore and move particularly for my high energy younger boys, more opportunity for outdoor work (again great for my younger boys), land enough to give to some of our children who will probably live with us for always and even to those who might want to stay around, a larger garden, more space away from neighbors, being able to do what we want with our land/place without restrictions, working toward more self-sufficiency, etc.

Some of the downsides for country living as I’m contemplating is that it might be more work than I realize and do I have time? Most likely, with investing money into the land and barn/fencing aspect, we will have to have a smaller house, and am I ready for that change and is everyone else? Although we are SO different from our neighbors in our “fancy” subdivisions and are often ostracized from them for not acting “rich enough”, will we fit in with the country personalities any better, especially down here in the South (and us being from the North)?

I would love any input from others out there in blog land about your experience with country versus city living!

5 Comments

Posted in Family

Homeschooling Mommys: Freedoms and Development

Posted on June 23, 2006 | 4 comments

Moonshadows made a comment in her “The Truth Behind the Mommy Wars” post that got me thinking . . . She said:

Another problem with the current “social situation” is that (assuming a two parent household) if one parent is working and the other is not, the non-working parent’s future is potentially jeapordized.

I was the primary breadwinner in our family the first six years of our marriage, as my hubby made his way through university, while we simultaneously grew our family and shared the responsibility of caring for them on a daily basis. Upon graduation, it was time for me to get to stay home finally, full time. So, the past 15 years, I have been a stay-at-home mom, and the past 14 years, a homeschooling mommy. So, is my future potentially jeapordized?

An interesting thing happened in the middle of this time I have been a SAH/homeschooling mom: my hubby was jealous! Not because he wanted to stay home and be a househubby, but because he recognized the unique opportunity I have to develop my passions and make a difference in the world in the way that I choose as important to me. He was SO right, and I am grateful for my unique place in our home that grants me this opportunity.

What have I been developing with the freedoms being a homeschooling mommy affords me? I have learned oodles about learning! Visual-spatial learners, structured learners, unschooling learning, therapeutic learning, teen learning, toddler learning . . . I have learned about learning challenges like autism, memory differences, attention differences, sleeping pattern impacts, hyperactivity, impulsivity, auditory processing differences . . . I have found talents within myself I didn’t know existed like writing, public speaking, facilitating, a natural behaviorist, patience . . . In my free time, I CHOOSE to read materials that will enhance my understanding in any of these areas, attend conferences to gather new advances, and collaborate with other parents in gaining new insights. My hubby shakes his head and feels I don’t know how to just relax. Well, I really LOVE learning!

Although I have this plethora of experience and knowledge, am I still lacking for not having a degree to back it up in today’s world? Maybe. I’ve certainly gone back and forth regarding pursuing a degree in order that I might gain credibility. But, since I’ve come this far, I’m trying really hard to discipline myself enough to write a book starting in the fall, and see if I can get it off the ground enough to see if that can take me anywhere in sharing my experiences to a broader segment of people.But is this the case? We did a research and there are quite http://amerikabulteni.com/2018/02/06/frasierin-salonundaki-bos-koltuk/ levitra samples a few unbelievers.

I feel blessed to be a woman today. I feel blessed by the freedoms I enjoy in my life to explore and discover and development myself in areas I never thought would enter my life if I had tried to plan it out, or if I had to walk a path that had limits, like being the main breadwinner of a household of nine. Boy, do I appreciate my hubby and all he does for our family. And girl, does he slightly envy my opportunities, but fully supports and celebrates all that I bring to our family.

At this time, I feel like my life has been full to overflowing with extraordinary opportunities and I have taken them. I see my future full of hope and giving back and full of possibilities. I see it as more than what financial value I can bring, but what worth I can give. I’ll end with the motto my daughter has chosen to live by, that she put in her Build-a-Bear:

It’s what you give that makes you beautiful; it’s how you live that makes your dreams come true.

Yep, I think that’s what being a homeschooling mommy did for me. And my life is more than I ever dreamed of 🙂

4 Comments

Posted in Family, Homeschooling

My Brother’s Keeper

Posted on June 16, 2006 | 10 comments

As I was talking about our large family dynamic in an e-mail today, and all the high maintenance personalities, and about how I can often rely on various children at different times to help out with each other, it reminded me of a time in my life when I was struggling with feeling guilty about how difficult it might be to grow up in this family. As things like autism came to the forefront, again and again, and more children came into the home, again and again, I started hearing people “warn me” about protecting my more typical children from the hardships of our family’s logistics. “Make sure they have a childhood.” “Don’t make them do too much.” “Don’t forget about them amidst all of your challenges.”

Well, about three or four years after the diagnosis of autism first hit, I remember particularly feeling the guilt and strain and worry over these sentiments. “Was I expecting too much of my more able children?” “Should I protect them from the life they have been given?” “Should I keep them separated from the sometimes harsh realities of our lives?” I was tormented as to my stance about it all. I mean, on the one hand, one of the beauties of choosing to homeschool was to live and love and learn together as a family, yet represented as individuals that we lean on or support, love or hate, be angry at or forgive, etc. I felt the underlying ideal in our home was that we would always strive to work it out together, not against one another, or reject each other. We embraced the opportunities that existed together!

And yet, I had heard stories from people who lived lives that went beyond childhood into adulthood way too early. There was resentment and life choices that resulted from that upbringing. Is that what I was creating? And yet, as I pondered those stories, it was often the product of an ill mother, whether mental illness or physical illness, and the stories often were about the child serving in the role of parent. That’s not what was happening in our home . . .

And then the answer came in an issue of the Reader’s Digest. I wish I could find it to share with you all, but I can’t find what I did with mine (because I distinctly remember tearing it out), and I can’t find it on google. Well, anyway, it was about a family living in Arizona who had at least a son with autism, a typical son and a typical daughter in the picture. If I recall correctly, the three children were home waiting for the parents to return home from work. The boy with autism escaped out the backdoor and directly proceeded to climb one of those huge electrical towers that was not too far from their home. The older, typical brother went running after him, as did the sister. The older brother yelled to his sister to call their parents as he followed him up the tower. As is often the case with autism, the boy had no fear as he climbed higher and higher. The brother, on the other hand, had an intense fear of heights, but he simply kept his eyes focused on his brother, determined to catch up to him.

Well, he finally did, near the very top. By this time, emergency vehicles had been dispatched, and the story leaked to the news, and before long, helicopters were circling above. The older brother gripped the hands of his brother with autism to the tower and tried to keep his attention focused on him as he sang favorite church songs. (The song they referenced made me quite sure they were actually members of our church!) The boy with autism wanted to stim by flapping his arms as he watched the helicopters go by, so it took a lot of effort on his brother’s part. It took many hours in order for the rescue workers to bring them to safety as the tower was too tall for the ladder on the local firetrucks to be effective, so a large power truck was called in. Rescue workers still had to climb a certain distance to reach them and thankfully, both were brought down safely.

Well, naturally, the older brother was lauded as a hero, and he wasn’t really sure how to take it. When asked if he was afraid, he replied that normally he would be, but he tried to keep his focus on his brother instead of thinking about the situation. Another question was asked similar to, “Why would you go after your brother when it was so dangerous?” He matter-of-factly replied, “He’s my brother. I love him. It never crossed my mind not to go after him.” And then the clincher occurred when the article ended with these poignant words, “Are you your brother’s keeper? Of course!”
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Well, I all out bawled. YES! This was it! This was who our family was. Why apologize for any of it? Our world today is so caught up in what’s best for me, look out for number one, step on anyone in your way. Family’s are so often caught up in mainstream thinking where everyone is plugged into their own life, duties, and schedule. One reason we chose to homeschool was to embrace “old fashioned values” of family togetherness, developing character, being bored, playing together, working together, looking out for each other, etc. Autism didn’t change that. Difficulties don’t change that. Struggle doesn’t change that. In fact, it should strengthen it!

I would no longer apologize for who our family is . . . and that had to emanate from the inside out. Once I embraced that ideal, that we DO believe in looking out for each other, no apologies necessary, it was easy to move forward with head held high and heart solidly believing in the right thing for us.

We embrace who we are; we honor each other; we are our brother’s keeper 🙂