Category Archives: Learning

My Snake Lesson

I was prompted to recall today some of the lessons I learned from my firstborn son the first year we began to homeschool. Don’t we all have these? My most important lesson I learned was the snake lesson.

I had tried to do school at home . . . hey, in a FUN way . . . with my son for two weeks in August. I chose to do it then because I was eight months pregnant with child number four and wanted to “get a jump start” and have a rhythm going before I gave birth. Well, what ended up happening was I realized it wasn’t working and had to come up with Plan B. I always say having a newborn saved my son’s education! I just didn’t have time to hover and micromanage with a newborn, a one year old, a three year old and a five year old . . . LOL!

So, we slowly tested out some unit study books from time to time over most of the school year. Eric let me know what he was interested in, I would find a unit study book on it, and we would play around with the ideas in it together. Well, around April, he wanted to do a study on snakes. Well, I couldn’t find a unit study on snakes, but since we had done a couple of them, I felt I was up to the task of putting one together myself. Although the newborn was now about seven months old, with four young ones, it still took effort to carve out the time to put something like that together.

So, we started off by going to the library and finding a bunch of books about snakes that I could use as fodder. I also gathered whatever we had at home. By this time, we had quite the stack. Well, it took me two weeks before I was able to find a weekend to put it altogether. In the meantime, Eric had been going through that stack of books. He was a non-reader, but he would ask me a lot of questions about what he was seeing, or ask me to read certain blurbs.

Well, the weekend came and boy did I put one great unit study together. It would last five days and Eric was so excited he could barely contain himself Sunday night. Monday morning came and he was there with bells on, eager to jump right in. How wonderful to have such an enthusiastic “student”, ready to be fed. So, I began with my first lesson. Immediately, Eric’s face fell.

“What’s wrong?” I quieried.

“I already know that!” he lamented.

“What do you mean?” I asked incredulously.

“I already know it, I mean,” he insisted.

“No problem, we’ll just skip to the next part,” I concluded.

“I already know that, too!” he cried at this point.

So, I decided to share with him all that I was going to teach him, and he realized that he knew everything already from his going through the resources before I was able to get to them. He was interested in doing a couple of the craft projects, but so ended my fabulous unit study.
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Ah, but wait, I noticed that he knew everything you never wanted to know about cobras and pythons and constrictors, but nothing about rattlesnakes and vipers!

“How about I teach you about those?” I questioned.

“No, thanks. I’m not interested in rattlesnakes or vipers,” he calmly pointed out.

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me that, and I prepared it, and you don’t know it, so how about I teach it,” I insisted.

“No, thanks.”

Well, I was about to go into a tirade about all the time and energy I put into it, and by golly, he was going to learn about rattlesnakes and vipers, but then, a sudden idea entered my mind and turned the learning experience from him to me. Something urged me to go ahead and teach him one concept about what he didn’t want to learn about. Just one. So, I decided to teach him why a pit viper is called a pit viper. He listened, and we went on our merry ways through the day.

Before going to bed, I asked him why a pit viper is called a pit viper. He couldn’t remember. I rehearsed to him again the reason. We then had a long discussion about all the things I never wanted to know about cobras, pythons and constrictors for a good 30 minutes. The next day, I asked Eric why a pit viper is called a pit viper. Couldn’t remember. Repeat, try again. Repeat, try again. All to no avail. And yet, a month later, a year later, that boy could tell you all the types of cobras, what country they lived in, if they were venomous, how they gave birth to their young, etc. as well as about constrictors and pythons.

Lesson for Mom: I can put lots and lots of energy and time into preparing “the perfect lesson”, and if he’s not interested in learning it, it is all for nothing. Being a person who had chosen to raise a large family close in age, time was valuable. Why would I waste my precious time, let alone weaken my relationship with my child as we battled over his willingness to listen to my lessons?

It was right after this point that unschooling completely took over how Eric pursued his learning world.

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Eric at 5

Learning Differences

I thought when I started my blog that my first focus would be the topic centered around my Homeschooling Creatively yahoo group. However, I wanted my blog to evolve naturally, so this is the first opportunity I have taken to really discuss this particular passion of mine. I was prompted to put some of my thoughts about learning differences from some comments on my post entitled, “When Waiting Isn’t Enough”.

I said:

As it pertains to the plethora of “school-created labels” such as ADD, ADHD, gifted, LD, etc., I think the biggest problem with school is that they blame the child instead of the system that doesn’t account for the child’s learning timeframe nor their learning style.

Steph of momof3feistykids at A Room of My Own said:

However, I feel that issues like learning disabilities and ADD are very real, and create challenges for a child whether he is in school or not.

First, I’m not saying things like inattentiveness, hyperactivity, high intelligence, and learning differences don’t exist. They do. What I’m saying is that these things can be part and parcel to someone’s personality and/or learning style type that bring great assets as well as challenges from time to time, particularly when the environment and expectations do not match these traits.

I am particularly passionate about the right-brained, visual-spatial, creative learner. What I have discovered about this learner are:

1) their learning style is not valued in our society (it values left-brained traits, which is the style of learning conducted in school for which we have all been conditioned to value as well),

2) they are one of the two most labeled children in schools (ADD, gifted, LD, and dyslexic are some of the school-created labels; Asperger’s Syndrome, high functioning autism, and sensory integration disorder are some “disorders” that often strongly resemble the traits of this learner),

3) they develop certain (left-brained valued) subjects later such as reading, handwriting, writing, spelling, and math computation (they are bested suited to learn these topics between the ages of 8-10 years of age),

4) they have a core attraction to one of the following: drawing, music, theater, dance, building things (like Legos), computers, or video games, and

5) they are misunderstood by school personnel and parents by having things said of them such as “they are smart, but lazy” and “they are not living up to their potential;” and in homeschools, they often resist your teaching and they are also apt to say, “this is stupid” to everything you suggest.AT&T’s campaign to reach out and touch someone made me reach out for a tissue – not a phone. try this link levitra no prescription

Inattentiveness is a strong component of this learning style when they are placed in an environment that does not enhance their strengths for attentiveness: toward things that interest them . . . particularly highly creative outlets! I believe strongly that dyslexia would all but disappear (mostly) if these learners were allowed to wait until 8-10 years old to begin to learn to read, and are started with a sight word program with pictures. Learning disabilities could not exist if these learners were allowed to pursue their strengths and gifts, which are not valued in our society. They need to be able to pursue their creative outlet at a young age, and also be exposed to pictures longer as they develop their extensive pictorial library of images that will be an asset to them as they tackle the symbolic nature of the left-brained tasks of reading or writing later.

Steph goes on to say:

Also, while the issues that go along with a diagnosis like Asperger’s Syndrome are not the same as those that accompany autism, they are pervasive and significant and require more intervention than simply creating an enriching environment and respecting the child’s inner timetable.

Well, let me give you two sides to this coin. Once a parent can recognize the learning style of their child with Asperger’s, which is highly likely to be this creative learner, and you provide that enriching environment that respects the child’s inner timetable and learning style, then I think the learning/academic part is a breeze!

Now, the flip side of this coin is the “living with” portion of this “high maintenance child”. They have strong social, behavioral, emotional, and sensorial needs that should be addressed in order to help their futures be bright. The beauty of homeschool is that we can create a holistic facilitation environment that not only tackles the academics, but includes these other all-important arenas. I call it a success-based, mentor-supported, skill-developing environment.

Now, an important aspect of facilitating in these areas is to recognize the two sides of the coin. For instance, it is common for a creative learner to be highly sensitive. I find these creative learners either meltdown (cry and fall in a heap) or burst out (anger and lash out). It is because they feel so deeply. This is essential to their creative expressions! To dance in a way that moves someone is to feel deeply and express it through dance. To paint something that stirs another is to feel deeply and it shows through the art. However, with this same asset comes places where it interferes with one’s life. This is where we need to help our children develop skills that manages this two-sided trait of strong emotion.

There is SOOOO much I could write about this learning style that two of my children in particular have taught me extensively about for which I have shared with others. For now, I will create a page with my outlines that I follow when I present workshops about this learner. One is about how they learn: “Understanding the Right-Brained Learner” and the other is about living with them: “Living with the Right-Brained Learner”.

I hope to talk about this learner many times on my blog 🙂

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When Waiting Isn’t Enough

I posted a long comment over at Every Waking Hour under the post, “Thinking About Readiness”. Although I published it there, I thought I would post it on my own blog as well.

Willa said:

I’ve read some Piagetian theory in the context of special needs education…. just a very little. One very interesting book that talks a bit about Piaget’s theories is “When Slow is Fast Enough” . It is a thought-provoking book about the flaws in the way Early Intervention programs tend to be set up nowadays. The author Joan Goodman discusses Rousseau, Locke and Piaget in terms of their ideas of child development. She thinks that EI nowadays tends to be Lockean (”filling the vessel” or “writing on the blank slate”) with a thin and slightly hypocritical overlay of Rousseau’s child-centered theories.

And the later conclusion was:

The point of her book is that all the therapy tasks in the world cannot jumpstart or advance a child’s readiness.

Her solution is to create a rich environment both in terms of open-ended resources AND in terms of creative, warm personnel who are willing to play with the child on his or her own terms and be sensitive to the child’s developmental timetable.

As an unschooler type myself, I embrace so much of what is being said about learning in Willa’s post. As it pertains to the plethora of “school-created labels” such as ADD, ADHD, gifted, LD, etc., I think the biggest problem with school is that they blame the child instead of the system that doesn’t account for the child’s learning timeframe nor their learning style. So, that connects huge with what was being said throughout Willa’s post about a rich learning environment, honoring different learning styles, and waiting on each person’s timeframe. In fact, I present a workshop on this very idea called “An Individualized Education: Learning Styles and Time Frames.”

However, I take exception with trying to connect these ideas with more challenged children, such as those with autism (not high functioning or Asperger’s), Down’s Syndrome, mental retardation, etc.. I have first hand experience in this area, and it is very, very different than just providing an unschooling environment. I have several children with autism and one with other pervasive developmental difficulties. If all it takes is the typical learning environment that values and respects the child’s timeframe, there would be no such thing as autism! There are some biologically different brain structures that prevent a child with autism, for instance, from learning from their environment.

The intervention that ended up being my son’s learning style is not about “writing on a clean slate”, but about helping to “rewire the brain” in the areas that were not functioning or did not develop in utero. The brain is an amazingly elastic thing, and it has been shown that it can create new pathways around “disabled parts” or non-existant ones.

I would like to share two examples. Adam had zero imitation skills at 3.5 years old. This is how children learn a LOT, right? Such as speaking, which he was unable to do. (I wonder if learning to walk and eat is a biological response versus an imitative one, by the way.) Well, we worked and worked on retraining the brain to create such a pathway, and when he was tested three years later, it was listed that “imitation is a relative strength”. Pretty exciting, huh? He was also finally able to learn to speak and potty train once he learned even the basics of imitation. It took years, but at about age 9-10, Adam was beginning to learn from his environment naturally, although not to the level of someone without his brain differences. As another interesting side note, social interaction is a more complex imitative skill, so imitative progress has to be made to a more abstract level in order to accomplish this.

William had near zero visual-spatial abilities at 5 years old. He couldn’t even place one block on a piece of paper in the same manner as another person. We worked and worked on blocks and 1.5 years later, after some testing, it stated that he demonstrated a “strength in his visual analytic skills (block design).” It was the only place he did not have a weakness, besides his natural strength in gross motor skills!

To share a different outcome, Alex exhibited the same type of difficulties as his brother Adam. He was diagnosed with autism at two years old. For three months, I had the EI people in our home six hours a week of one on one for speech, occupational therapy and play therapy. It was all very child-led learning . . . joining in with him, etc. He learned nothing in that three months except bye-bye. I started the intervention that worked so well for his brother with him, and within the next three months, he had accumulated about 50 words, some imitative skills, and playing some games and songs. After another four years of consistently and actively helping him learn in the way that made sense to him, his brain was able to do whatever it does, and the floodgates were thrown open.

Alex had strengths in areas his brother did not that helped this transformation occur when it did not for his sibling. We were then able to help him delve deeper into the social arena, abstract reasoning, etc. Alex would be considered a person living with high functioning autism now.Millions of people with impotency issues have tested and taken its treatment and thus, recommend its medication strongly. levitra 40 mg icks.org

If difficulty with learning is about being slower, or learning differently, then all that was said in the book cited by Willia would apply! If learning is about something serious missing in your brain functioning, then it is about something else. One extra copy of a chromosome causes serious differences in learning for those with Down Syndrome. Lacking imitative skills causes serious differences in learning for those with autism (that’s just one of many differences that combines to make living with autism difficult). It’s not about waiting, but helping them learn in a different way. It’s not going to change if you wait.

Definitely all my opinion, from my experience . . .

The top picture are the people who all lovingly worked with Adam to bring him his smile the first two years after his diagnosis of autism.

The middle picture are the people who all lovingly worked with Alex to bring him his social outlet the first year after his diagnosis of autism.

The bottom picture are all the children after the party I held to thank everyone for all that they did for the two youngest before we moved away to another state in 1998.


Adam’s Circle of Love


Alex’s Circle of Love


The Children, May 1998

What to Read?

Faith over at Dumb Ox Academy wrote a post called “Teens and good choices” that got me thinking about how my children have come to make good choices as it pertains to reading material. She wrote:

I have been thinking about censorship and how homeschooling moms often have the job of prereading their kids books to see if they are acceptable.

You know, I don’t know why, but it never occurred to me to censor books! It’s been more apparent to me to be mindful in sharing my opinions about movies and music, clothing and language, but not books. Hhhmm, it got me to wondering why. Then, Faith went on to write this about her mother:

I think if my mother had been constantly looking over my shoulder at what I was reading, I would have rebelled, but I never felt the need. Instead she talked to me about what was right and wrong and why she saw things that way. And she engaged me in discussion about what was right and wrong. What did I think? And this taught me to be self-censoring. I only want to read what truly interests me. And what truly interests me is trying to be a child of God who honors her Father. I don’t want to read pap and twaddle (for the most part!).

This definitely hit on what I do in my home. Censorship has never been a part of our home; but discussion and opinions and perspectives shared, often! And yet, I still don’t see myself specifically and mindfully discussing book choices by sharing my perspective in order to guide and model for my children good choices in this area. Instead, I believe this is an area that is near and dear to my heart, and I have shared that instead . . . my love of books!

Books were treasured by me as a child. I begged my mother the summer between kindergarten and first grade to teach me to read. She simply kept a chant up of, “Wait until first grade” to my ever increasing insistence. (She wouldn’t have made a very good homeschooler, I think.) So, I waited, and all but inhaled the reading instruction in first grade. In fact, the only part of the process I remember is the Dick and Jane primers, which I happened to have really enjoyed, by the way 🙂

Anyway, after that, I foraged through that room and read every book, according to the first grade teacher report card I have. When my mother went through a season where she would take me to the public library, I decided I was going to read every fictional animal book they had, starting with the “a’s”. I loved the smell of that library. It was my lifeline to books, coming from a home of little financial means. My Christmas present often entailed a book, that I cherished and would place upon my very special bookshelf of honor. It is one of the few things I took with me when I left home . . . those books.

It is my secret dream to have a library like those of olden times, when there were no public libraries, and people had to have their own personal libraries. I am Belle of “Beauty and the Beast”, who revelled in such a location! We turned our formal dining room into a library, so I have a mini feal of a library in our home. We own at least 2,000 books. The access my children have to great books in comparison to what I had growing up is like comparing a pauper to a prince. Is that why I didn’t ever consciously think to model good choices as it pertains to books? Because my love of books overflowed into their everyday lives, and the modeling naturally existed.

I remember when I was bored growing up, I would go look for some books to look at. There was basically one set of nature/animal books available to me to look through, a set of encyclopedias, and the Childcraft book series. I usually looked at the animal series or the Childcraft series. I used my past experience of how I spent my bored moments, as well as my love of my own homemade bookshelf, and created a similar opportunity for my children to savor books.Another reason that causes bankruptcy amongst order cheap levitra cute-n-tiny.com individuals is their credit card debt.

I started when my children were very tiny. Each child would have their own bookshelf in their own rooms. Within each child’s room, on each child’s bookshelf, would accumulate those titles they were most interested in at the time. It was where I could put some of my “finds” from the bookstore that I thought they might like or would add to their current interests. Unlike my few favored books I owned, I found the children often rotated which books would reside in their room based on interest, age, and style of reading.

We had a rhythm to our evening hours. There was a time when it was “time for bed” in which each of us retired to our own bedrooms. We would then “settle down” doing some quiet activities, enjoying alone time, or . . . reading. This is when I thought the opportunity would most arise for my children to seek out what was in their bookshelves in their rooms, and I was right. It holds fond memories for them. An hour or so later, we would peek in and say, “Time to go to bed, to bed,” which meant REALLY go to bed. LOL!

So, that’s what my children grew up hearing about . . . my love of books. Since Faith specifically talked about her teenage daughter’s good choice of books, I will gear my last thoughts toward my teenage daughter. She has my books from my childhood now. It really wasn’t that much her style, but she knows my reverence toward them. I talked about the books I read as a child, as a teen, as an adult, to my daughter. I would share what I loved about them, if I hated something, if it moved me, if it inspired me.

The other thing I shared specifically with my daughter, because she has my “organizational love” within her genetic make-up, was how from about age 9-14 I wrote out on index cards all the books I ever read, and wrote a little “review” about each. I kept it in a yellow flowered metal recipe box. Abbey, my daughter, so loved the idea, that she thought she would try her own version of it. She did both a (plastic) recipe box style as well as the technological style that she excels at. Abbey’s reviews SO exceeded mine by a long shot! I love it 🙂
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