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5th Country Fair and Life Without School

I have not had a lot of time to get on and blog, but will be hoping for some more time soon.

In the meantime, I wanted to direct everyone to the 5th Country Fair, where one of my blog posts is included. A great line up was gathered to share with diverse topics for everyone.
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Further, it is my turn up on the Life Without School group blog to be featured with a piece I called “Socialization Already Answered”. I really like this site because I think it shows the diversity among homeschoolers, and it is a great site that answers a lot of general “hot topic” questions about homeschooling as well as features writing that gets us thinking about current ideas.

When Waiting Isn’t Enough

I posted a long comment over at Every Waking Hour under the post, “Thinking About Readiness”. Although I published it there, I thought I would post it on my own blog as well.

Willa said:

I’ve read some Piagetian theory in the context of special needs education…. just a very little. One very interesting book that talks a bit about Piaget’s theories is “When Slow is Fast Enough” . It is a thought-provoking book about the flaws in the way Early Intervention programs tend to be set up nowadays. The author Joan Goodman discusses Rousseau, Locke and Piaget in terms of their ideas of child development. She thinks that EI nowadays tends to be Lockean (”filling the vessel” or “writing on the blank slate”) with a thin and slightly hypocritical overlay of Rousseau’s child-centered theories.

And the later conclusion was:

The point of her book is that all the therapy tasks in the world cannot jumpstart or advance a child’s readiness.

Her solution is to create a rich environment both in terms of open-ended resources AND in terms of creative, warm personnel who are willing to play with the child on his or her own terms and be sensitive to the child’s developmental timetable.

As an unschooler type myself, I embrace so much of what is being said about learning in Willa’s post. As it pertains to the plethora of “school-created labels” such as ADD, ADHD, gifted, LD, etc., I think the biggest problem with school is that they blame the child instead of the system that doesn’t account for the child’s learning timeframe nor their learning style. So, that connects huge with what was being said throughout Willa’s post about a rich learning environment, honoring different learning styles, and waiting on each person’s timeframe. In fact, I present a workshop on this very idea called “An Individualized Education: Learning Styles and Time Frames.”

However, I take exception with trying to connect these ideas with more challenged children, such as those with autism (not high functioning or Asperger’s), Down’s Syndrome, mental retardation, etc.. I have first hand experience in this area, and it is very, very different than just providing an unschooling environment. I have several children with autism and one with other pervasive developmental difficulties. If all it takes is the typical learning environment that values and respects the child’s timeframe, there would be no such thing as autism! There are some biologically different brain structures that prevent a child with autism, for instance, from learning from their environment.

The intervention that ended up being my son’s learning style is not about “writing on a clean slate”, but about helping to “rewire the brain” in the areas that were not functioning or did not develop in utero. The brain is an amazingly elastic thing, and it has been shown that it can create new pathways around “disabled parts” or non-existant ones.

I would like to share two examples. Adam had zero imitation skills at 3.5 years old. This is how children learn a LOT, right? Such as speaking, which he was unable to do. (I wonder if learning to walk and eat is a biological response versus an imitative one, by the way.) Well, we worked and worked on retraining the brain to create such a pathway, and when he was tested three years later, it was listed that “imitation is a relative strength”. Pretty exciting, huh? He was also finally able to learn to speak and potty train once he learned even the basics of imitation. It took years, but at about age 9-10, Adam was beginning to learn from his environment naturally, although not to the level of someone without his brain differences. As another interesting side note, social interaction is a more complex imitative skill, so imitative progress has to be made to a more abstract level in order to accomplish this.

William had near zero visual-spatial abilities at 5 years old. He couldn’t even place one block on a piece of paper in the same manner as another person. We worked and worked on blocks and 1.5 years later, after some testing, it stated that he demonstrated a “strength in his visual analytic skills (block design).” It was the only place he did not have a weakness, besides his natural strength in gross motor skills!

To share a different outcome, Alex exhibited the same type of difficulties as his brother Adam. He was diagnosed with autism at two years old. For three months, I had the EI people in our home six hours a week of one on one for speech, occupational therapy and play therapy. It was all very child-led learning . . . joining in with him, etc. He learned nothing in that three months except bye-bye. I started the intervention that worked so well for his brother with him, and within the next three months, he had accumulated about 50 words, some imitative skills, and playing some games and songs. After another four years of consistently and actively helping him learn in the way that made sense to him, his brain was able to do whatever it does, and the floodgates were thrown open.

Alex had strengths in areas his brother did not that helped this transformation occur when it did not for his sibling. We were then able to help him delve deeper into the social arena, abstract reasoning, etc. Alex would be considered a person living with high functioning autism now.Millions of people with impotency issues have tested and taken its treatment and thus, recommend its medication strongly. levitra 40 mg icks.org

If difficulty with learning is about being slower, or learning differently, then all that was said in the book cited by Willia would apply! If learning is about something serious missing in your brain functioning, then it is about something else. One extra copy of a chromosome causes serious differences in learning for those with Down Syndrome. Lacking imitative skills causes serious differences in learning for those with autism (that’s just one of many differences that combines to make living with autism difficult). It’s not about waiting, but helping them learn in a different way. It’s not going to change if you wait.

Definitely all my opinion, from my experience . . .

The top picture are the people who all lovingly worked with Adam to bring him his smile the first two years after his diagnosis of autism.

The middle picture are the people who all lovingly worked with Alex to bring him his social outlet the first year after his diagnosis of autism.

The bottom picture are all the children after the party I held to thank everyone for all that they did for the two youngest before we moved away to another state in 1998.


Adam’s Circle of Love


Alex’s Circle of Love


The Children, May 1998

Build-a-Bear

Last night, as a 16th birthday present, Abbey took her friend, Alyssa, to a Build-a-Bear store to have her choose a special bear that reflects her entering her dating years. I came up with this idea for Abbey’s 16th birthday last year . . . to join her child-like qualities and love of animals (the bear) with her desire to enter another stage of growth (dating, girlishness and understanding twittery girly socializing); Abbey wanted to share this gift idea with her friend. Going back in time to Abbey’s trip to get her bear last year, it was a fun bonding experience as we discussed her hopes and dreams as it pertains to her future marriage, husband, and family. She wanted her bear to symbolize her standards and beliefs as she entered the dating years. Abbey intends to visit her bear before every date to remind her of her own expectations.

So, she chose a white bear to symbolize purity. She then chose a build your own sound to record a message that she had decided on to reflect a supportive belief for this stage. Previously, Abbey and I had perused the songs that she had most enjoyed singing on her guitar, and carefully listened to the lyrics to see if something jumped out at us. One did. It is from the song, “Beautiful”, and the lines that she chose to state in the message were: “It’s what you give that makes you beautiful; it’s how you live that makes your dreams come true.” Perfect reflection of who Abbey is . . .

Then Abbey chose a heart to put inside her bear. She had thought about the prayerful wish she would like to make about this stage that the bear represented. She then proceeded over to find an outfit that reflected herself. The outfit had to be modest and authentic to Abbey’s style of dress. She decided on jeans and a simple purple top . . . no hat and no shoes. Last, she put the free bows on the bear’s ears to indicate her willingness to “add to” who she is in becoming more girlish without subtracting from who she authentically is.

Alyssa is the friend that shows Abbey how to be more girly, but appreciates Abbey’s comfortableness in being simple and not a “game player” in the girl/boy dynamic. Although she has very similar standards and beliefs as Abbey, Alyssa’s bear looked completely different as it reflected her very own personality.
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It was a fun girl’s night out 🙂

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Abbey and Alyssa__________Abbey’s Build-a-Bear

Senior Pictures

Our family hasn’t been overly about plugging into school type traditions. In fact, Eric “officially” graduated from our homeschool on his 18th birthday, over a year ago, and yet, here we were today, getting what we told the photographer were his “senior pictures”.

There are several differences that have already shown up both in Eric’s “diploma” and his “senior pictures”. Being my first child and all, you’d think I would be all ready and excited about putting together both of these “big events”, but either it’s just not my style to make big productions, which is true, or I just can’t seem to get motivated in putting a lot of stock in these worldly schoolish traditions.

The diploma came about because Eric was starting a job that required one. I sat down with Abbey, who is so good at things like that on the computer, and I was able to produce one that I was pleased with. As I decided and contemplated about when the official diploma date should read, and he was starting this job on his 18th birthday, since it required that age to be hired, it suddenly occurred to me to use his 18th birth date. And so, a potential “tradition” in our home began. Instead of ending our homeschool year in June, it ended in February for this child, on his birthday.

And now senior pictures, which traditionally are taken sometime in the fall or winter of your senior year, are being taken for Eric one year later. Why, you ask? Well, I don’t see it as senior pictures more than I see it as his “year of transition”. As mentioned in my previous post, Eric is preparing to leave in less than three weeks to begin a journey to serve the Lord for two years on a church mission. He chose to work toward this goal around his 18th birthday. So, as he saw a lot of his peers going off to college, he wanted to continue his role in our home as it had always been until his 19th birthday, which is the age in which he can apply for this mission. And so, things continued as always . . . kinda like when we decided to homeschool him all those years ago . . . in order to allow things to continue as always . . . so, I guess we came full circle with the ages of 5 and 18.

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Admittedly, I want to capture that “moment in time”, if you would, about who my oldest son is before he leaves home for the first time for an extended period of time. He chose to have some shots taken of him in his missionary attire (i.e., suit and tie), in some casual attire that he was rather attached to over the past year, and a Japanese outfit along with a couple of Japanese swords to pose with that reflects his particular interest in everything Japanese throughout his teen years. It was fun seeing him enjoy his “professional photography shoot” . . . about 100 pictures taken . . . oh, we’re paying through our nose for it, but as I said before, I wasn’t one to make big deals over big deals, so I tried to do so at this time of closure.

The transition party is yet to be arranged (i.e., usually known as the “graduation open house”). . . last minute as always for me and mine . . . like the pictures . . . so stay tuned to see if “memorable” still occurs!

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